Andrew, Mandy, and Brighton!

Brighton's Birthday

2012-02-12T13:40:00.000-08:00

Since May, I can not tell you how many crazy things i have heard about birth and having a baby and all that goes with it. I have heard from some crazy crazy people and some who think that they have pregnancy figured out for every other woman. I remember what one of my friends said though, she told me that my story would be different from how any other womans goes down and I just thought of that for the rest of my pregnancy...How will my story be...well now i know:)

For the sake of my blog not being private I am not going to explain in detail too much of this day. The only thing that holds a candle to it is the day Andrew and I were sealed in the temple, but today was so very different and special. I created a life... well technically andrew and I had already created it, but birthing it was just serene! They started me on pitocin around 430 or 5. I was already to a 4 and about 50-60% effaced, but the nurse checked me anyway to see where i was at. She told me that because of a certain few factors that i might end up in a C-section so just be prepared if so. Brighton never "dropped" which means the rest of the "stuff" that is supposed to be lower was pretty high up still.... I didn't start REALLY feeling the contractions until they turned it up to about an 18. Andrew and his mom were there sitting on the couch beside the bed and i would talk to them in between a little. The funniest part was when i started to laugh when i was having contractions, all three of us were laughing... until the next contraction:) They finally got bad enough to where i fell silent. :) The nurse came in to turn up the dosage every 30 minutes and then to check me every 2 hours, for the first 2 checks i had made no progress at all. Since the contractions were really bad I decided to get the epidural and see if i could relax and let this little guy come down. To my surprise the next time she checked me before the epidural i was to a 6, yes! around 1030 i got the needle in the back! I was scared for this, more scared then having the baby even, but it turned out ok:) For the next few hours the nurse tried positions and things that would help Brighton come down into place but still with no luck:( at 130 in the morning and an exhausted husband i asked the nurse realistically how long she thinks i had so andrew could go home and check on our dogs and sleep, she said until at least 5 or 6 so off alice and Andrew went to leave me to sleep. I woke up at about 230 feeling contractions like i had before getting the needle in the back so i pushed the button for more medication and went back to sleep. I woke up at 330 this time, one hour later in bad pain and called the nurse to tell her that i think my water had broke and that the epidural had stopped working. Although it was not time to check me she did anyhow and who would have ever guessed! I was to a ten! 100% effaced, but my water had not broke. I got so excited! I even forgot about the pain, i hurried and called Andrew to tell him to hurry but he didnt answer:( haha, it was funny..., but he called me right then and asked me if i was feeling okay, this is what the convo was like...
Me.." Hey you need to come."
Andrew... "but why?
me... "because im ready!"
Andrew... "are you sure? okay ill be right there"
:)
Andrew was to my side in about 25 minutes, my water broke I told the nurse i need to push she let me 3 times and stopped me to call the dr... I kept insisting that i needed to push and she kept telling me no that i had to wait for the doc.... ugghh!!!!
15 minutes later Dr. Matthews came in, 3 pushed later Brighton was born:)
Truly amazing! The feeling was heavenly once it was all over! like in one instant all the pain is gone and I have my son laying on my chest. He was calm, just like i knew him to be in my belly. He barely cried and never cried when they gave him shots or drew his blood. He did SCREAM when he got his bath though:)

That's my first birth story! Brighton was born at 5:11am, he weighed 8 pounds and 6 ounces and was 21 inches long, the best part about him is that he is beautiful and has big blue eyes like his mom and long toes like his dad:) After all was over and Andrew and I had our time with him Grandma Crandell and Grandma Starkes got to come in and meet their new grandson.

The whole few days from check in to check out was wonderful. I had the best nurses in L&D and I was even able to have my own Doctor deliver Brighton. I am so blessed and grateful that i was able to have him without having to go under the knife:)I had a great pregnancy. In fact I loved it. Despite the usual few months of nausea in the beginning I loved learning about how Brighton was constanly changing and developing inside me on a daily basis. I LOVED feeling him, simply LOVED that feeling above most things in life. I am still amazed at how heavenly father did all of this. I am looking forward to the next time we get to do this again:)

But wait!!! The room is not done...and where will my son sleep???

2012-02-08T21:22:00.001-08:00

With being so busy with work since its the month of January I did not have too much time to get Brighton's nursery done. I had bought the cribbing way back in October and was excited to get the rest of the room put together but my other half... aka Andrew wanted to keep the walls white:) He is such a simple guy and for that I love him.,... BUT i wanted a little color in the little man's room. I picked out just a vanilla color for the walls to match whats in his crib and then i stenciled the one complete wall behind his crib with a chocolate brown, teal blue and greenish color stencil design. I am really happy with the way it turned out! This Picture is so cute... While i was downstairs "resting" Andrew was making Brighton's bed, when i came up this is they way he had it made.

I made this the last week as well. I went to Hobby Lobby with my sister to get the stuff but i could not figure out what i wanted to decorate it with, boys are hard! After a few days and a little bit of help from Andrew it was hung up on the wall.

Those two little pictures in the corner that you cant see very well, my very good friend (Natalie) got them for me! I love them, my two favorite animals are giraffes and elephants... they just so happen to be the matching colors of my nursery so i threw them in the mix. I love it!

Polka dots...damask...and plaid, what a perfect combo...right?

And here is the crib. My aunt got this for us around the time we found out we were pregnant! We absolutely love it!...oh yeah and then there is the wall me and my other good friend (Heather) stenciled... I did it the day before my due date and she would not let me get on the ladder so we tag teamed it and got it done in about 3 or 4 hours... Im gonna say 4 because I am pretty sure we went to taco bell and got a chicken burrito and a coke:)))

My due date, Monday January 30th-40 weeks

2012-02-08T21:07:00.000-08:00

Monday was my due date. The 30th of January and the day that i had been talking about for aprox 36 weeks since i found out when i was 4 weeks... by no means did i think this would be THE day that my son would enter the world, but i knew it would be "around" this date. My doctor in the 4 weeks leading up to this date had told me i was making little progress but not to worry... at 37 weeks i was dialated to a 1, by 39 weeks i was dialated to a 1.5 and still not effaced at all, on top of that she talked about me being super high...with this being my first baby i had no idea what she was talking about but i accepted it and allowed her to call the hospital to try a gel induction. Andrew had asked some people in his family and his feedback was that it worked for one of his sisters, in a way we were prepared to have Brighton that day. We got to the hospital that day at 430 and started the process. By the end of the process i was dialated to a 3 and about 50-60 effaced and baby Brighton did not want to come. I was a little bummed but knew that I did not want to get fully induced at this point so i went home and waited....
Tuesday January 31st.....
I followed up with my doctor this morning after my gel induction to see if there was any more progress, to my surprise i was to a 4 but i was digressing with the thinness of my cervix so the doctor said this time we will try pitocin. They scheduled me to go to the hospital Thursday morning at 430 am. Andrew and I took the whole next day, (Wednesday) to do some last minute things and some shopping as well at cabelas. We met up with my grandma and dad for lunch while we were over on the west side and got some time in with Sara and Jesse:) I was excited to be going to the hospital and this time with a better chance of having Brighton....until.... at about 8 pm i got a call from labor and delivery that they had an influx of patients deliver and I would have to wait for a call before i could go in... All of Thursday i literally waited... It was killer... Friday morning i called the hospital and my doctor to be put on at the other hospital as well but with no luck. Andrew went to work instead of just waiting around the house with me though which on this day would have been nice for him to be there:) the hospital called at 11:30 to tell me to be there by 1..... I am so excited! The journey of childbirth is coming soon! Today I am 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I am ready to meet my little Brighton.

Brighton Jay Crandell

2012-02-07T20:16:00.000-08:00

He has come! Brighton came on his own terms, 5 days late! Actually i guess he would not have come yet had i not tried a few things which included a hospital and modern medicine to get him here:) I am so overjoyed that he is here and although he is already 3 days old i have yet found time to get on my blog and put up a picture of his absolute perfectness! I want to blog my story, so i will get to that... in the mean time here is a picture just to show how precious he is.

40 weeks and 4 days!

2012-02-02T17:49:00.001-08:00

So i did not update my blog since my last post... I went to the doctor after the whole gel induction thing that did not work... I am at a 4! but my "thinning" is digressing! from 80% to 50!.. no no no! this child is stubborn:) or maybe it is me... not sure. Well this was Tuesday i found this info out... my doctor again scheduled me to go to the hospital Thursday morning at 4:30 am.... Wednesday i am getting my house in order, like literally going through everything and making sure i dont have an ugly house when I get home from the hospital, this time WITH a baby... I get a call from the labor and delivery telling me they have had an influx in patients and they wont be ready for me by 430 so to not come and they will call me.... It now is 6:52 pm.... and they said 1 o clock so i waited and waited and still nothing! I have called a few times, trying to not be annoying, just asking them if they know a time frame-ish... Nope... and there are 2 patient inductions ahead of me... did i mention that the doctors at this hospital deliver at 2 different hospitals??? eh... good news i found out is that MY doctor... Dr. Matthews will be at the hospital tomorrow starting at 7 am... so i am hoping i will be in there and she can deliver me! At the moment Andrew is watching transformers and I snuck out real quick to come update and pay a few bills... he said he would only watch 5 minutes of the movie then we can go walk but ijust heard him say... Mandy... I hungry! haha. He is such a nerd! but i do love him... anyway, so that is the update. I am having contractions... consistant even but they wont get stronger! I need to jump on the tramp or something... if only i had one. The positive side to it is this... everythign happens for a reason:) and im not miserable at all, thats the cool part:) but i am getting so excited to just meet my son! I will just have to be patient and wait.. in the mean time, when my phone rings my heart does skip a beat... :) then i get mad at whoever it is besides the hospital:) hahahaha,,, just kidding, just kidding.

40 weeks and one day.

2012-01-31T10:01:00.000-08:00

I downloaded this app on my phone so i could follow everything that was changing with my body and i progresses in pregnancy. It is really a neat app and Andrew even enjoys reading and looking at the pictures to see what the fetus/baby looks like... I goes by weeks and days... today it shows a newborn on the picture, its really cute...only thing is... I dont have mine! I know i know, most babies are born within the 38-42 week mark and i am only on 40, but in my head monday january 30th was when he was going to come... WRONG! from week 38 to 39 i was 80% thinned out and to a 1.5... week 38-39... Nothing! Yesterday the doctor checked me and i was sure i was gonna pull a 4,,,, nope, wrong again! She scheduled me to go get a gel induction yesterday at 430. When i get all hooked up to the monitor the nurse carol.... I really liked her tells me... you are having contractions, can you feel theem? I said no and didnt think about it.... Then i turned away from the monitor and talked to andrew for the next few minutes and really concentrated on trying to feel them and i could! It was so weird... I have been feeling THAT feeling for days, but thought it was just part of the "pressure" My contractions were already 3 to 5o minutes apart. It was pretty cool but the nurse did find it a little odd.... So for the next hours.... up until 3 am or so, i am gelled and checked and told to walk and bounce on the ball. On the second gel the contractions got more intense but after being checked no dialation progress... bummer... Then I was having contractions every 1 to 2 minutes! almost too much my very favorite nurse kate told us.... So too bad... the gel induction did not work. WE got home about 330 am with Brighton still in the belly...
One thing that does scare me is the nurses told me i ihave a narrow pelvis and I dont like the sound of that, for some reason they told me and said just to let you know.... Andrew and I call that JTLYK.... It may result in a c section, but every woman is different and it depends on how the labor goes... obviously i know that but I dont want it! I want a natural birth so I hope it has no affect:) That's all for now. I go back to the Dr. tomorrow morning at 830 for my next set of instruction. Today i walk and feel these wonderful contractions I am having:)

A lot to do with only 12 days to go!

2012-01-18T17:30:00.000-08:00

I waited until the last minute to convince my sister to come over and paint the room, thanks Brandi by the way:) One more thing less i have to do, despite everyone telling me to NOT paint while being pregnant because it could kill me, strangle the baby, or i could be paralyzed. Literally... I know that there are precautions, but i get more and more everyday. At the bank people tell me all of what they think i should do... I am kinda sick of it, i think i am going to start saying this is my 5th child so they will stop lending so much advice. I take it nicely and just remember that i have my own birth plan and that is what i ams ticking to no matter who tells me what i SHOULD do. With that though, today i had a day off and got absolutely nothing done but a nap:) I take it back, i finished up a session of pictures that were long overdue but as far as baby... nope. I have the decor for his room all ready to be "finished" but i have yet to start. I need to pack a hospital bag too which i have neglected to do as well as put the car seat in the car... what can i say, i work best under pressure:) We have 12 days until due date and I am to a 2! I am happy because at least that is some progress, right? My next visit is Tuesday and the Dr said if im at a 3 they will schedule an induction... I want to wait thought until i do it on my own, it just seems so much more fun. Thats pretty much it, a quick update.

3 weeks- (ish) left!

2012-01-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

Whoa! I am so excited i cant hardly stand it... besides the periodic pain from my kidney all is well. I am just "sucking it up" and waiting for him to come on his own:) I did not update since i got out of the hospital but the main content of what happened is the urologists and doctors were worthless, yes i say worthless loosely because everything they were suppsoed to do was either wrong or they were never were there for what they were supposed to be. It was horrible and made me not want to deliver at CRMC but,..,.. its the only place my dr does... soo.... thats that i guess. Basically the "specialists" are not at the hospital on HOLIDAYS because regular humans like you and i's health problems or sicknesses just wait until after they get back... Yes it was ridiculous..... so, to say the least i have to pay probably a huge hospital bill from being in there for 3 days although they helped not...I had to make a follow up dr apt with my doctor who had to refer me to a urologist who has a normal schedule and then pay both those fees on top of that... I know i seem bitter... I am a little, haha. sorry.....

Anyhow, when my dr found out that NOTHING was done at the hospital she was pissed to say the least and since my kidney is failing and the possibility of "back up" and infection is present she wanted to do an amneocentisis and make sure if Brightons lungs are fully developed and if so she would schedule an apt for an induction.... I freaked a little... not gonna lie.... so bottom line is i said no after talking with Andrew, we both figured that since my kidney thing will work itself out once i do deliver that I will just deal with what i have to until he comes:) so thats the update. I have a little less than 3 weeks until my due date. I am lacking the rocker and the paint on the walls in Brighton's room and I have a family diaper shower on the 14th in Heber, but other than that Andrew and I put up the crib and did the rest of the nursery things we needed to finish. It's so fun getting ready for baby! I am sure i wont be saying that while in labor though:) Well thats all for now. We just finished watching the BCS Championship game with Andrews parents and natalie and logan over here at our house and now its time to get ready for bed.... ugh i feel like this is turning into an awful journal.... bye

Christmas 2011

2011-12-31T14:10:00.000-08:00

I also forgot to mention christmas.... As mostly everyone knows Andrew and I are expecting out first son next year. We decided to get one gift for each other and anything else would be for Brighton.... I just wanted to brag that Andrew surprised me with a pair of diamnod earrings... Yp thats right... DIAMOND!... If you know anything how andrew picks his diamonds he is about quality over quantity... He got the clearest and best cut diamond the store had in diamond studs. He spoils me... :) I just love him... although i am not big on jewelry period, I really really love my new earrings and i could even get used to getting jewelry for gifts from time to time:)
On another note... he got bullets, a whiteail hunting monopoly game that the only part he is interested in is the game piece that is shaped like a shed... and he swears he will never play it.... the most ADORABLE little sleeper for Brighton with evergreen trees on it and a moose and a game cam that he is been asking for for years! Christmas this year was more focused on the actual meaning of christmas, which usually for us it is. I sometimes get masked with the whole thought of what am i going to get everyone and wonder if i dont get a friend or family member something individually if they are going to care... then i let that go. Having a child in my belly makes me think of things differently. although i would never want to dissapoint Brighton, at some point it is gonna happen. I want him to always know the true meaning of christmas, and not gifts. I want him to be so excited to open up his pajamas every year from grandma crandell, (its their tradition) My mom is more of the spoiler so you never know what it will be like with her:) Anyhow... I figured i would print this blog before Brighton comes and start a new one then, I did not add this up top because i jumped to the diamonds before anything, but one of the funniest parts of this whole christmas present was that all i really asked andrew for this year was an electric toothbrush:) haha, oh Andrew, how i love you.

Is it january first yet!

2011-12-31T13:57:00.000-08:00

After a long frustrated conversation and a whole day of waiting for the doctor to come in to see what they are going to do for me... he never does... Great! So i heard nothing from the doctor back yesterday after the urologist, just the wrong information... Today i woke up to the doctor talking to me... he said here is my option, or options.... I have to wait to talk to my doctor about them enducing if the pain does not subside because the pain IS caused by the pregnancy, or at least the uterus anyway... Of course i understand that there is more blood flow and everything is kinda squished... that is the way it should be... but the pain should not be untollerable where i feel like a mad woman thrashing around unable to even breathe! Come on, really! uhh,.... I feel like crying but i have no tears and besides i just got out of the shower and redid my mascara.... I am not letting them give me anymore morphine, i dont want a drug baby, also they started to just put me on one pill of lortab and it takes the pain off enough that i can bare it. So now i am waiting for the urologist to come decide if they will do this nephrostomy tube thing where they will put a big needle into my right kidney to drain the stuff, whatever it is because in this hospital it seems i just cant get a straight answer... they keep assuring me the baby is okay but i am not getting answers! they dont just keep someone in the hospital for 3 days and not tell them whats going on right????? Its about 3 pm now, i am so ready to go home. I have had so many mixed emotions! At one point i thought i would meet Brighton, at others i thought i was harming him, and now its just down to frustration and anxiety to leave and go home. I miss my dogs and Andrew and I even miss cleaning. Here i have nothing to do but update this blog that i hardley ever look at anymore and make multiple budgets to see which method will work best coming into the new year. How fun:) On the good side If i was growing anymore of a bubble butt i have flattened it out:)

Not the real deal cont. Warning! this post is long!!!!!

2011-12-30T18:02:00.000-08:00

The morning of my birthday I woke up and showered, Andrew googled the symptoms of a gall bladder attack and this is all what i felt to the T. We went to have lunch at subway where i had a half of a 6 inch just about with nothing on it but turkey and lettuce... If it was my gall bladder there will be no more grease for me for my lifetime, i NEVER want to feel those pains again. In the short period of leaving the house and having a small lunch the pain came back. Even after a short nap at home it was worse and i told Andrew i needed to go back to the hospital...., one small thing i forgot to mention... the day before when the nurse told me she thought it was my gall bladder.... she did not order any test for my gall bladder... she said they would send me to the ER if it was not baby related, but they never did, instead they discharged me.... Anyhow, i called my doc in copa to get a follow up apt and they scheduled it for Jan 3rd! Wow, on top of me literally and physically i swear on anything and everything holy i could not deal with the pain for another hour, let alone days! January 3rd is the biggest day of my life at the Bank! There is no way i was getting off to go for a follow up apt.! I drove to the Dr there in copa and she said to go back to the hospital! I can't believe i am on my way back. Andrew thinks i am super woman and pain is nothing for me so he told me to try and stick it out, we went home and i laid down. When i woke up I was in pain, AGAIN! sadly he was putting together the crib and I hated to interrupt him but i just knew something was not right and i needed to go back to the hospital. I made the phone call and talked to the nurse who helped me yesterday who said she thought it was my Gall bladder... she adv to come back to labor and delivery to again rule out problems with baby, then they will take me to the ER... as soon as i got here again i was begging for the drugs! It is so sad because i know what i get in my body Brighton also gets in his and I hate knowing that my little tiny baby is on anything drug related! If i tell the story you will be here reading all night... so this is how it goes....

Wheeled over to ER and asked random questions, no medicine,no room to put me in, out in the open in front of everyone. got blood drawn AGAIN! took a pee test again....they finally took me to this room that i shared with 2 other people and i was in a "recliner" chair that was beyond all discomfort. The plan was to go for an ultrasound on my gall bladder and kidneys.... I had a pretty cute nurse who gave me an iv in my left hand... it hurt just a pinch and Andrew almost passed out... :) Shortly after they took me back I went to do that, about 30 minutes... she was really really nice who did my sonogram and she even gave me a picture of little Brighton to satisfy my once more needing approval that he has a penis:) from there we waited and waited. The highly strung doctor came in very nice and very fast and told me that the gall bladder looks good, and so does my kidneys..... hmmmmm so what else could it be??? Well we have to do a full cat scan to rule out appendicitis now.... oh great i thought... then i asked the questions like so if i do and it has to be operated on, does Brighton come out? Can he stay in during a procedure like that where i am knocked out? I was told he could be taken out or left in.... now i am getting a little scared.... My cute nurse came in again and told me i had to have ANOTHER IV, this one had to be past my wrist so they could inject something into me.... i am so dehydrated though that there are like zero veins that are being accommodating.... he finds one in my right elbow area and again, Andrew watched it and felt pretty queasy.....:)okay so like 2 hours later the guy came in for the CT scan. i could not understand his accent but he said something about me being pregnant and full term and OK? ahhhhh sure i said. I drank the awful solution and went into the machine, i have no idea why they call it a can scan machine. it should be called the spinning donut:) He said i would fee warm and pee when i was in there... I was thinking WHAT! my clothes are on....his language barrier was hard to understand... when i tasted the metal and felt like i had to pee and my body went hot i understood..... okay that's over and its back to the room.... I had not gotten any medicine in a while and i was uncomfortable beyond belief. I asked if they had a pillow and the response was a no, so i then asked if they had a bed and i was told the beds are only for those who "need" them. Like the man pulling down his pants in the hallway yelling help me help me hurry up hurry up, I'm bleeding... although he was not, he had dementia.... Okay i get it i said and laid down and trued to not think of the pain, or the weird people who keep coming in and out of the what i then thought was a mental hospital.

It was getting late... this was my birthday and at 7 we had planned dinner with some people, Andrew started to call and cancel for me, however bishop and his wife were already in town so they came over and Andrew was able to give me a blessing. It was nice and i felt so grateful in that moment that my husband is a priesthood holder. the rest of the night was a bunch of crap if you ask me... they took forever to give me more medicine, i was miserable and i think i got like 4 different diagnosis.....
the gall bladder was okay.....
the tube from my kidney to my bladder is collapsed and i will need to a stint in it to get it open
the tube is enlarged and it is creating build up which is what the pain is from
I have multiple kidney stones in the ureter which is causing the backup and inflammation and I would have to wait until the morning... mind you its only like 6 right now.... for the Urologist to look at it to see exactly where we go from there....

So now i am admitted, they tell me room 379 third floor. My sister and her family drove down from buckeye because she had a birthday gift for me and just wanted to say hi... my mom was waiting out in the lobby as well as Natalie and Logan who has just brought Andrew dinner:) It took about an hour to tell me the room was wrong and since i just so happened to be 35 weeks pregnant then i should be in the OB section.... makes sense i would think... finally at like 10:30 I go to my room where there is a bed and i literally have 5 pillows! I had not eaten anything in 12 hours and hardly been able to drink. My mom brought me fruit and crackers and all the water and ice in the world. since i had "kidney stones" my plan was to stay here overnight and be treated for the pain and to hydrate like crazy and pee into this strainer thing to see if they will pass..... I was also told the urologist comes in early in the morning and she would come evaluate and then we will go from there.... oh and yes at this point it was not my appendix... so at least that is good but my frustration is creeping up because the day before they sent me home after doing an ultrasound of the kidneys and stating they were fine..... AHHHHHH!!!!!

I tell Andrew to go home since he works in the morning, i took some medicine and went off to sleep......

Come the next morning 12/30/2011-
The urologist did nothing about making her rounds early.... in fact Andrew got here around 11 i think and she was not here until like 2 or something, cant remember too well... she said something about no kidney stones... if i do they are like tiny and also that the tube is NOT collapsed????? wtheck! So what is going on.... from what i gathered in pregnancy your uterus can be enlarged in certain areas which cause problems in others... well duh!!! she said something about a worked with brachial i think... sorry i am on medicine... she said she would talk to the Dr and then he would follow up with me..... errrrrrr... WRONG! it right now is 3 almost 30 am and I NEVER saw the doctor on call that day again. The nurse came in and said she was gonna give me iron and a constipation pill, why i had no idea... she said to take them and then the Dr will make his rounds early in the morning... well i have heard that one before.... Natalie and Logan came to say hi and were off to find a dog to add to their family so i made Andrew go with them since he was going crazy here.... I watched a whole movie and started getting frustrating about being in the dark about what the heck is even going on. I called the nurse in and she listened, she assured me she would talk to the Dr..... hours later after Andrew got back, the nurse came back in and said she talked to the Dr... apparently the urologist said she offered me and Andrew something today that would drain the excess fluid that is causing the pain... WHATTTTT!!! I had to look to Andrew because i do forget a lot but I am positive she TOLD us that was probably not needed! is this woman crazy? or just a liar! I was so mad! I then asked the nurse why i am taking iron and constipation pills and she said because the urologist said i was constipated! No no no no no... I literally wanted to scream. Was this woman just not listening when she was in here or did she mix up my notes with the person next door... ughhh... I could just cry! Now there is nothing to do but to fire that urologist and request another one that wont be able to happen until the am and the doctor wont even come talk to me anyway until the morning... so here i Am... I literally have the world most awful pain and 10 different reasons why but no one knows how to fix it or what the real problem is.... frustrating is all i can say. I should go to bed. I can update in the morning... I am hoping and praying that the new urologist will be able to shed some light because this has been crazy! just crazy. I am worried about work, like sick to my stomach. I have a huge month coming up and am not 100% prepared for it. Andrew tells me to relax and worry about the baby because he is most important which i know, but a big part of my life is my job and I hate to feel like i am not fulfilling it completely... I better go to bed and stop worrying myself sick! goodnight

Is this the Real deal????

2011-12-30T17:48:00.000-08:00

Monday... the day after Christmas was amazing... this was the 26th. Thank bank was closed so I had the day to do as i pleased. I went Christmas shopping with Natalie and bought what i felt a life time supply of wrapping paper would consist of, some tissue paper, and a few random Christmas decorations for next year.... (yes I'm kinda cheap) This was the day Natalie told me there would be no more eating out, that she needs to be strong and I need to do the same! oh man... shopping with a girlfriend is just not the same unless you spend lunch together too! boo... well anyway.... We went to 3 stores and were done and mozzied on back to the copa town where i proceeded to make sure all of my bills were paid and the house was clean and I even started to organize Brighton's room. I felt great. I was a little nervous about me falling 2 days before and i was often stopping to feel him move, or feel for contractions and even watch for blood... but nothing! Yes. I was okay. The next day i went back to work and working hard! my day is filled with a bunch of last minutes things to wrap up and setting new appointments for the new year~ My next step at wells Fargo is to go into management so i am trying my best to utilize my time wisely and to the fullest..... Well Wednesday around 1230 ish my stomach started to hurt...over the coarse of about 25 minutes it hurt so bad i said something to my manager. It was hurting to bad and since it was time for my lunch i figured i would go home and try to lay down to see if the pain would subside...
In the mean time i told Andrew how i was feeling so he was checking in with me. I was for certain i was in labor. I tried to time the "contractions: but they were CONSTANT and the pain increased literally every minute. I had work to do at with with a loan signing so i sucked it up and went back and gave it to my manager, told her i could not stay and called for a ride to the hospital. I moaned and groaned all the way while Natalie drove me to the hospital. I cried and screamed... yes i was a mad woman!~ and this is coming from the woman who said she would not get an epidural... well that choice may have changed now:)
I got to the hospital and they immediately put me into a bed, checked me and said no i was not in labor.... What???? then what in the heck is this pain from... I BEGGED from some drugs to take the pain off even just a little. they told me no, they had to make sure the baby was okay. Okay okay okay... Andrew my ma and Natalie were there I had finally had my medicine and quite a few tests later and they say that they cant find anything, but.... the nurse tells me she thinks its my gall bladder..... After the morphine i was given i could function and the Dr said since i was feeling better i could go home...... even though i had no clarification i was told there was nothing they could do since i was pregnant and i was to just go home..... okay... goodbye... as soon as i sat down outside while Andrew got the car i threw up and the pain slowly started to creep back. I met my mom and she gave me Tylenol PM and sometime between the drive home i was back to sleep. I slept that night on the couch with a heating pad doped up on Tylenol pm. Andrew laid next to me in the love seat. As much as i told him to go upstairs and go to sleep because that chair is miserable to sleep in, he refused until i went with him. I had declined a blessing earlier that night from bishop because i did not want to be a bother, but i was regretting my decision. I was certain that i would wake the the next day... the 29th... my 25th birthday and be just fine and attend my birthday dinner celebration we had planned with family and a few close friends. I was certain of it.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-30T17:40:00.000-08:00

Andrew and I had a great Christmas this year! Despite my "early" labor I was cleared by my doctor to go to Heber for the day for Christmas... It may have been a bad day because i fell! right on my left side... oops... It really does hurt when that happens, but i am pretty sure I am okay.... I had a great baby shower on SAturday the 17th. Most of all my sister in laws came, my mom and sister and some close friends. I was so spoiled! I got almost everything i needed. Andrew and I only have a few things left on the list to get! Thank you again for all of those who came and celebrated with me.... Saturday night after the commotion calmed down we watched a movie with a few friends and my back started hurting.... it kept over until Sunday where i told andrew I had to leave early. My stomach would contract and my back would hurt and my legs would even go numb! It was crazy. That lasted throughout that sunday but it was not constant I went to bed with the intention of if i dont feel better in the morning i will call my dr.... needless to say i felt and slept awfully so i called Dr matthews in the morning and she sent me to the ER. I was having pretty consistant contractions but nothing else had porgressed so they gave me a shot... not one but 2 shots of tributeleen???? I dont know how to spell or say it really, but i think that is close enough. After a few hours it stopped my contractions and i was put on bed rest for 2 weeks and sent home.... WHAT!!!!! 2 weeks... there is no way i can do that... upon following up with my dr, she said i could go back on thursday and work for 2 hours then break for 30 laying down then work another 2.... that does not work too well at a bank.....but i did the best i could.

This is such a long post,... i know i am sorry! So here it was December 22 or 23rd and I feel like an obese person who cant breathe! Everything is fine with the little Brighton but they did not let him come because at that time i was 35 weeks and he only weighed 4.5 pounds! I just wish no more early labor signs with this pregnancy, i want the real deal~ :)

The time is flying by

2011-12-20T11:34:00.001-08:00

I can still remember when I peed on the stick and it said positive... I was like 4 weeks and I remember thinking oh my gosh am i ever going to get past the first trimester so im in the "safe" zone, then it moved from there to the 20 week when i can find out if it was for sure a Brighton Jay:) after that it was the anticipation of the baby shower and watching my belly grow and now, its the hospital visits:) I am truly loving being pregnant and evn my "i look fat" attitude has gone away, there is plenty of time to lose it after you have him:) Sunday was a normal day for the most part but i was truly hurting and uncomfortable for the first time in my pregnancy. I figured it was because my shower that the day before and i was busy busy busy cleaning and such. Sunday i told Andrew we had to leave church because i could not sit still, my back was on fire. then that night sleeping was torture, i swear i woke up like every hour...I thought to myself monday morning would come and if i still felt bad i would call the doctor and see if she could excuse me from work that day... I was wrong! They sent me into labor and delivery or the triage part of it anyway where i was monitored and checked and all that fun stuff. My contractions were pretty steady, Brightons heartrate was racing up and then dropping down which was scaring me a little but they said it was fine... then they checked me and found i was already dialated to a one! Holy cow i am thinking in my head as she tells me she has to call the Dr.--- Andrew was not even there! what is gonna happen if i have this baby! haha it was pretty funny. They gave me a shot in the back of the arm! OUCH! to stop the contractions, which did not so i got poked again, hours later i was on my way home with a note to be on bed rest for 2 weeks!

This is crazy i am thinking... January is the biggest month of the year and if i want to be promoted to management then i HAVE to have good production... I am a little worried about all that to be honest. I have a follow up apt today with my actual doctor to see if she will let me return to work, if not anything at least for half a day:) But as for now, this baby is staying in for another 4 weeks if i can help it!

34 weeks

2011-12-12T19:43:00.000-08:00

isn't that belly just so cute! I like to touch it:)

5 weeks left, or 7...

2011-12-12T19:21:00.000-08:00

That seems so long right! The dr says my due date has changed, i dont know why they "change" it this far along but i am thinking that they are thinking i am one of those women that will be so exicted to get this little one out of me at 38 weeks. WRONG! I have a birth plan. It is a bit insane, but i am not getting an epidural-yes i am going natural and to the very best of my ability i will stick to that plan. I want to know and feel what is going on and I am a firm believer that heavenly father made my body just as all the other women to go into the labor process when the baby and my body are good and ready for it. I know some mothers have already told me i am crazy and you dont know what you are talking about and you will change your mind this is your first blah blah blah. The good thing about all births being different is that this one is mine:) So i can make whatever choices make me happy. To know that, is the best. I hear the most horror stories at the dr office though, about how i will be in labor for days and it is just so bad and i should just get the shot and get it over with. whatev.,.... so i am saying i have 7 weeks and i am not paying too much attention to the "new" due date. Things here in December in the Crandell home are CRAZY! Lj, andres brother is soon moving out, he has been staying here throughout the week then going back to see his family in heber. This is going to free up my what was then an office that i will be turning into my nursery! I am excited to start Brighton's nursery. I already ave all the stuff and the decor, i just need to put it all together! Work is crazy because its the month before the beginning of the year, its like 2 straight months of non stop work, i kinda feel like my aunt kathy who is a CPA and its tax time... not fun!

On a different note... I am working my way up in the company and am going for management! I know the timing is way wrong, but me and Andrew have devised a plan to where i can still work and he can go to school- small sacrifice for a few to allow me to be a stay at home mom in a few years when i am positive we will be expecting another little baby into our lives! It was a little bit of a harrd and sad decision on my part. I had made the decision to just stay home with Brighton but on the flip side at least he will have a stay at home figure, it will just be daddy:)

It seems everything else is working out so far. I know i have yet to post a picture, which i should just go do right now... okay i will after i finish my blabbing. I have gained 15 pounds, with 5-7 ish weeks to go i am extremely happy with that number. I don't waddle and I still fit into my work suits (I just cant button the bottom button). I got a comment today from a random man that pregnancy looks good one me:) It made my day. I really am enjoying being pregnant! I wont lie i like the attention it brings to my baby bump a little too:) My favorite time is when andrew is engaged with my belly though. I cant wait to see how he will be with Brighton. I know i will just fall even more in love with him once i see him in action as a dad.

I think i am done for now. I will go and take that picture. :)

I feel... normal

2011-12-05T21:19:00.001-08:00

It is official I have technically 8 weeks to go, IF my due date does not change... they moved it but it is subject to change. I am not holding my breath. I am banking on 8 weeks from now to get all my other little ducks in a row before Brighton come, but i am am getting super super really excited. When he moves in my belly now he kinda makes me feel like i need to throw up and at times it stops me in whatever activity it is that i am doing at that moment. I feel like I always think in "mom" mode now and when i see mothers doing certain stupid things i always make a mental note of what not to do:) I truly am blessed to be able to carry this child. I never understood the feelings you feel for the little one in your belly even vicariously through a good friend, but once you do it changes your whole world. It is such a blessing and i wont lie to say that i am kinda sad that andrew will never be able to feel what i feel. It is simply amazing. At this point in my pregnancy i love it and I feel great! I have zero cravings, my feet dont hurt and yes i can still wear my heels to work:) The only thing i did not like was the sickness in the beginning that lasted for 2 whole months but that is nothing compared to what i get to look forward to- a life with this lovely little guy i have been baking! I have so many feelings but the rest of them i just cant describe. I had a friend tell me today that she basically raises her kids by herself and it made me sad. On top of being a great husband, Andrew is so excited for Brighton to come. He can't wait he says to just hang out with him and he says he is actually looking forward to getting up with him in the night! we will see how long that lasts though:) I am just a lucky lucky girl. I have an amazing family, truly and its growing! I cant wait for these next 8 weeks, although i am very very busy at work for those 8 weeks I have set aside enough time to finish his room and have me a baby shower to prepare for him. I cant wait to meet you Brighton! come soon... but not too soon:) and... i just realized i have not posted ANY pics of me pregnant! I guess i will get one up there!

9 weeks to go.

2011-11-25T19:59:00.000-08:00

We have about 9 weeks to go. My baby shower is set for december 17th and i am having the hardest time making sure i have everyone i need to on the baby shower invitation list. Since we just did evites it seems all my emails are out of date. Please leave a comment here with your updated email address:) I can believe we only have 9 weeks to go. I will post some pictures here soon.

a decision to make

2011-10-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

Brighton will be here in about 3 ish months, i have yet to make up my mind about if i will continue to work either full or part time... I love my job and i am so good at it! For most people who ready my blog i think it would be safe to say that yall know i have always worked... I started when i was like 8 and a half.... part of me is SO ready to just walk out the door and never look back and just be a stay at home mommy... but then there is another part of me that is wondering if i should keep part time at least so i can keep my sanity... It really is a tough decision and i would love to be able to have an at home job... maybe i could just find that! Until March ish time is when i will make my decision but until then i guess i will just have work:)

just to vent.

2011-10-17T22:49:00.000-07:00

My car is slowly breaking.... the other day the door handle, now the CD player wont give me back my cd's... why do they make things just to break anymore.... I literally and almost pasionately loathe entirely car salesman and i do not anytime soon (while I am still paying my car) want to visit any one of them..... It kills me... Since i am in finance now i know so much more and i do drive a hard bargain so i know i will not get worked over again, but i still am refusing to go to one. sorry if you are a car salesman reading this:) be honest:)

Vegas Baby

2011-10-17T22:45:00.000-07:00

Andrew and I planned a trip with a couple to vegas in december before i have this little guy... we.. butmainly i am SOOOO excited.... Well Andrew called me last Tuesday and said i am going to vegas! I was bummed because my manager did not let me go... but she did let me go on saturday so i took a plane up to vegas and got to stay one night in the MANDALAY BAY! whoa! that hotel is way nice. It was fun, expensive food but i just love the atmosphere there. I got to pet a baby lion! And... Elmo touched my stomach, haha its not everyday that you can get that kind of treatment! Vegas, I can't want to visit you in December for 3 days this time instead of one!

the miracle of life

2011-10-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow i will be 6 months. It is crazy how fast the time is going. I just started another quarter at the bank, its weird how i measure my time as it goes by in the year by quarters instead of months.... i only about one quarter left plus a few weeks! The pregnancy is going so well now that i am not sick... I have gained 5 pounds, maybe 6 now since my apt was last month but we will see when i go back in. Brighton was confirmed 3 times over that it is for SURE a boy so i feel a lot more at ease now being pretty positive he wont come out a she. I however have not picked out what i shall decorate the nursery in. Its such a hard decision for me. I want it to be absolutely perfect so it will take me more time and planning. This special little guy has been waiting for andrew and I to make this move for so long now and i just want to make sure i dont regret the nursery i make for him... not that he will even care. haha. Its just the way i want it to be though. My Aunt and uncle are so generous and she practically bought us our crib and changing table set with all the linens and matress and all that good stuff... Its so pretty. It even came with the baskets for the changing table. So we have some progress... a few years ago andrew and i bought a pair of mossy oak boots as well so we have those:) I wish i could post a pic on here right now of what Andrew looks like.... he is sleeping on the love seat, louie is on his left shouler and miley is sleeping on his right arm and he is in deep slumber. Yesterday (saturday) he had to take a stage down in cottonwood at around 8 then drive back to phx and be at the aids walk at 3:30 am to setup another stage..... he asked me to go with him to cottonwood because sometimes he falls asleep and it scares me...i went and was able to drive him there and back safely and we even had a super yummy dinner at johnny rockets in the casino in camp verde:) So getting back to Andrew... He recently passed his test for a potential new job... we just got the word so more to come on what happens with that, but in the mean time he is working all the time and crazy hours to just make extra money:) We are hoping that i wont have to work after i have Brighton so evenything helps right now...
okay so to the baby...
The ultrasound showed he weighs 1 pound and one ounce... although i have gained 5... ugh... he is active as ever and he is already on my schedule which i hope he stays on. He does not move too much at night when i am sleeping and he lets me know he is awake with me throughout the day. I still am wearing my normal pants and at times the button area will push into my stomach when i am sitting down or bending over and he always kicks it... I think it is so cute. I was told that i would really enjoy being able to feel him inside me and i truly truly do its just the most amazing thing i have felt in any point in my life. Funny story... andrew and i went on a date the other night with katie and kyle... andrew was on the phone with me and making sure i got himextra clothes... he was going through a list to make sure i did not forget anything, it went kinda like this...
did you get my hat?, yes
did you get my shirt? yes
do you have the popcorn bag? yes
what about the cups?
okay, do you have the baby?
HAHA,... um yes i am pretty sure i do have him at all times.
I am excited to see where the next few months take us with this growing belly of mine and a potential new career for andrew.... yay! The many blessings we have seen this whole year is just astonishing. I cant be more happier that we decided to grow our family when we did. I was also told that when you first see your child at birth you forget your life before you ever had him or her.. It is wierd already because its hard to picture myself not pregnant and expecting this little guy. I can't wait!

I am who I am and I will be who I want to be- and yes I am a mormon.

2011-09-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

So lately there has been things that are said that i am finding that i am letting bother me even though i should. If you get offended over religion then DO NOT read this post. This is my blog:) so i will say what i want however i want. First off there is a new marketing campaign with the mormon religion showing the world that we are normal people just like all humans. We do the same things from day to day, we have high hopes of raising a good wholesome family and we are just trying to make it from day to day, year to year as everyone else is. I did not want to go to church because i did not feel good, but i went and i am glad i did... we were taught about this new marketing campaign all centered around www.mormon.org check it out because its pretty cool. Bottom line is 50% of americans dont know ANYTHING about our religion then there is some who think we are ANTI-GAY, weird, secretish, cultish, so on.... I will admit we (I) are a bit weird to most because of these reasons and i put them into my own life.
A. took pictures at a bachelorette party last night-
I..... did not show my legs, nor half of my butt cheeks, and i did not show my breasts let alone even a little bit of cleavage.
I....... did not grind my butt on a random guys frontal private parts at a club downtown just for a good time.
I........ did not pay 12 dollars for a drink to just get me drunk to forget where i am or what i am doing.
I....... DID however look like the odd (weird) girl amongst the group with a pair of jeans, flip flops and a big growning pregnant belly....
I........ DID NOT however feel weird or out of place because i knew my reason for being there, regardless of what others thought, i got some looks because i was pregnant and even a few whispers pertaining to if i was drinking or not but rest assured I last night was JUST like the rest of the girls there-just chose to make DIFFERENT decisions. BEcause IIIIIII WANTED to.... Not because my religion MAKES me.

B. moving on.... Mormons are NOT anti-gay. WE are pro marriage and from the beginning of time (hence ADAM and EVE)..... It has been a marriage between a WOMAN AND A MAN. which we still practice today, of course.... This does not mean that we are anti gay and we hate gay people like some have given us the name of... However i will say this and take it how you want. There is a difference in not agreeing or accepting the sin that someone bears wether it be alcoholism, drugs, sex or GAY- but still LOVING the person. HUGE difference and just because I am accepting of all people (Its just who i am... I am not a mormon who just judges everyone just because i THINK i can) does not make me a non beleiver, or a jack mormon, or UNSURE of my faith. Thank you! It is really sad to me that in the past week two people that i have met dont like our raligion because of a MORMON and the EXAMPLE they showed these non mombers- Makes me literally SICK to think that some LDS parents dont let their kids play at young ages with other small kids who are NOT LDS-
Apparently some MORMONS are showing the world an example of a downright mean and judgmental person, NOT an example of Christ.... If i do recall a HARLOT nonetheless was FORGIVEN by jesus... If a whore can get forgiveness from Jesus himself, then why cant YOU just be a good example to non members who think all this bad stuff about members of the church.

So much more to say... Now getting to this point. ever since Andrew and I have started sating there has been the gossip and yes it is gossip about how CERTAIN people would have never imagined us together... I have answered the question that many won't just come out and SAY in their gossip session but this is the truth.... I come from a very broken home, no real structure while growing up in Heber with parents who were off in their own world at that time. I joined the church after my sister brandi and brother brian and lived very right for the first 4 years, then i dated i can say probably THE single most worst guy in the town and made poor decisions. They followed me for a few years and I had to make a different name for myself away from the town of Heber where unfortunately some people still have that unaccepting small close mind that they will always have their WHOLE lives. Those people make and have made MANY mistakes, but they love just gossiping about others and pretend they have never done ANY wrong, but who am i to judge... So yes... I think people just want to be able to talk because for some crazy reason this broken starkes girl who went crazy for a few months ended up with such a good guy coming from such a strong family and a good upbringing...
Who are you to decide my fate? Who are you to make an opinion about how it ended and you just cant believe it? Oh yeah... you are just a person, another mormon who i never talk to because you are up on a pedastool who gives the good down to earth mormons a bad name. Shame on you. Shame on ANYONE who has said that Andrew and I can't be together because of decisions and mistakes made prior. The sin is in you...not me:)
On a better note. I will not defend my marriage in any instance because there is nothing to defend. Andrew is a great guy and husband and soon to be dad, and i a great woman and wife and soon to be mother. I hold no grudges against the specific people, it makes me laugh because i could be the same right back and ask how they got to where they are too. My mistakes were obvious and in the open and i could not hide them and pretend to be WORTHY. I am Mandy Crandell, not Starkes. I will NEVER be a starkes again, not to say the past is gone, but he who repents of his sins, will i remember them no more.

I cant control any of the mormon population that i know, but i can control my actions and as long as i am on this earth being mormon, which i will always be, i will always be accepting and non judgmental and do my best to not gossip about others. We (mormons) are NO better than any other person just because they are not Mormon or they hate mormons or whatever the case may be... maybe YOU as a mormon should try to be more like an example of CHRIST and less of a judmental human being.

the feeling of life

2011-09-14T20:30:00.001-07:00

I dont post as regularly as i used to, i keep being told to just get a facebook so people can see me and see pictures of my growing baby bump and blah blah... truth is.... I dont want to. my sister would tell you that I am anti-facebook and i kinda am but not COMPLETELY.... here are my reasons.....
I already have a blog.
I dont have time.
My life is mine, why share it with people i USED to talk to from years ago that i have gone YEARS without talking to....
okay now i am just getting negative....
I literally work all the time... no joke... It is sad because I have gotten so spoiled on having my mom clean my house, then she moved so now i have to clean it again... I really love and enjoy cleaning and filing and all that stuff but there is just not enough time in my day.... I hope i can make up my mind if i am staying home with Brighton soon... I will be what they call a homemaker.... Weird... I have always worked.... ALWAYS. I do enjoy it, it gives me sense of entitlement but i am positive a career is mommying will be just as good... so back to the subject... I guess i just dont want to care enough to join the facebook world... also there was a talk given recently about how we as LDS people should not spend so much time wasting our lives on the worldy technological part of things that bring no spirituality.... i agree. This blog would typically be the same thing if i were on everyday... I like to use this as my journal, but it does not work out so well lately. Anyway the REAL reason for this post is because of Brighton. This tiny little man inside me that is finally allowing me to feel his little kicks and punches. ITs magical and amazing and although they are so faint I know right when he does it. I have so much love for Brighton already, I cant wait to see him!

20 Weeks!

2011-09-07T18:01:00.000-07:00

I cant believe how quick the time is going with this little guy baking away:) Last night for the first time i felt the first "thump". He is just teasing me... I waited and am still waiting to feel it again but it has not happened... Andrew is a little jealous he cant feel it and is so excited to be able to start feeling brighton move around. Today I was out shopping on my day off and I was looking over all the little baby stuff and i am SO thankful that we are having a boy instead of a girl because i would be so broke. Girl stuff is much cuter than boy things and picking out the colors of the nursery today was really hard too, ah!!!! what do i do... so many choices... I am just glad that i still have until january though:) Things here are not much different at the Crandell home. I work all the time still and Andrew is not full time with Pro-Em so he is just free lancing and gets calls all the time for more work. He tested for Border Patrol today and we wont find out anything about that for about 6 weeks. We will see where that takes us. This past weekend i was able to go camping at our family reunion... a full 4 days off work, it was nice. I have not gone camping in like 3 years though! It was a lot of fun, i did not take too many pictures of course since i got a nice camera i never want to take it anywhere in case i break it! I will post them later.

Its a boy and a girl! only i am kidding.

2011-08-27T19:05:00.000-07:00

okay so please excuse that these first two pictures are of girls room because it is NOT a girl! We are having a boy!!!! Andrew FINALLY made it home after 8 days of hunting in loah utah and we went on a date and found out that this little peanut is a boy! We have already named him as well. Brighton Jay Crandell. We are so excited to find out what it is. He will for sure be Andrew's little hunting buddy. I always wanted a boy first and i am exciting that is what we are getting first.... so to explain this picture... I love the wall and i think i will incorporate this into brightons room.... same with the 2nd picture, I just really love the walls on both.... moving on to the others... I have been looking at both boy and girl and the boys ones are some i saved to mesh some ideas together. I am already wanting to start his room since i want to do so much! Brighton is going to making his way into this world in about 5 months and i want to be very prepared for his arrival!

the name on the wall is just adorable

i dont like polka dots for boys so that is out, i do love the paisley though and i will not do a brown and plain color combo, cliche.

okay on this one i onlu like th wall.... nothing else, but then it seems just too much to put his name all over the wall... possible overload

i LITERALLY love these colors together, however brighton's crib is not this dark, still could make it work. I love the owls AND the willow deer..... decisions decisions

these colors are boring but i do like the painting patch work.... no rocking horse though.... creepy

Thankful for friends

2011-08-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

I can't express today how blessed i am for the friends i have in my life. They would do anything for me, ANYTHING! at one low point in my life i had an abundance of friends, some who were only my friend for the "fame" some who were only there because i was the type of friend you could take advantage from, some for good reasons and then some because i was falling away from everything i knew to be true and they wanted to make sure i continued to be saved from the mormons. To be honest i never imagined in my life that i would ever be mormon. I came from this chaotic upbringing, i roamed the streets until 2 am and i never had any type of structure. I was a loose cannon. I was known as one of the starkes kids to the "dad that bombed the mormon church" ( not true by the way). I guess when i had THAT abundance of friends i never really felt worthy of pure, real friendship. From day to day things would change and gossip would be thrown around just to stabbed in the back or find out that your best friend is having a baby with your boyfriend... really? is this what is friendship? All these thoughts came to me yesterday as one of my friends was driving me to the hospital and STAYED with me until around 4am then to take me home and make sure i got into my house safely.... my thoughts are always random so my apologies. To get back to the point or points at this stage in my life... 3 years 4 months marries, 18 weeks pregnant, owning a home and married to the best man i could have ever had my prayers answered for... I wonder how i got here and just know how TRULY i am blessed and that i would not be here had i not decided to get order in my life, get rid of all the old (BAD) abundance of friends, or have you and come back to what i KNOW to be True, and the truth is heavenly father showed me the true church here on earth. It teaches me daily how to be an example of christ, it teaches me to forgive myself for the choices i made in my life and to forgive others. In my calling at church, the sunbeams teach me something every week and it is always most touching on the days where i feel like i dont have the power to get up and go to church for 3 hours. It teaches me to accept everyone, every walk of life, color race origin, etc and to not judge. I can go on an on, but i will restrain. It seems that i have gotten rid of my close minded mentality I have FRIENDS, true 100% selfless friends who accept me for who i am and what i do and what i look like, and me to them. It's a peaceful feeling to me today that i feel. If i had blank cards i would write all my friends a card just to tell them i love them all... maybe i will do just that. My friends, not all who are members of the church, are inspiring and uplifting to me everyday. I love them all so dearly and am excited to have each one of them in my life. Especially thanks to natalie who put up with me all night and all morning! It means so much to me.

I know what this little baby is....

2011-08-23T18:46:00.000-07:00

I just went to the ultrasound and they determined what the sex of the baby is! yay!, 14 extremely long weeks of waiting!.... just to put it into an envelope to open up once husband returns from utah.... it is going to be a long 3 days.... Friday please hurry.

no pictures

2011-08-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

lately me and Andrew have done so much! Its ridiculous always what we are doing. I fell like we are never ever home but even thought i have this amazing camera i never bring it and take pictures.. how awful am i... I have turned into one of thos boring people who just type everything. I love pictures too.... I need to get a life and bring my camera more! this next month there is so much going on... 2 weddings, disneyland, vacation!!!! oh man i cant wait... and i actually get to go to heber for the crandell famiy reunion and i can't wait!!!! I will bring my camera for sure!

a post so long past due...

2011-08-22T19:08:00.001-07:00

It always takes me forever to post anything. My brother Brian asked me the other day if my pregnancy is still a for sure thing:) haha... In fact it is. It's so insane how time is flying. I find out tomorrow what it is...well actually i will find out Friday because thats when Andrew gets back form Utah. Since he is on vacation he went on a hunting trip with daniel and a few other guys from Heber. Since we had already planned the ultrasound we decided he should still go and i will still go but the doctor will put the info into an envelope and we will open it up on our date friday night once he gets home. I can't wait... Yesterday in church i had the funniest thing happen... I teach sunbeams and they are so much fun but they always say the darndest things. My favorite girl in the class tells me its time for the baby to jump up and down (thats how we get their energy out:)) and then i told her i dont think the baby wants to jump. She then insisted SHE did and that she could see her head and her hands and that her name is Sara.... Freaky right! I was telling the story to my sis today on the phone and she was saying how wierd it would be to actually have all that true just in the premortal!!! ahhh, well it was a little revelation form a sweet girl, we will see if she is right... on the girl part anyway, not the name:) So lat night as i am sleeping alone for the 4th night in a row I woke up and remembered my dream. I was in the hospital and andrew and i had a baby girl and she was so BEAUTIFUL. Really beyond all belief... I am so undecided on what i even think it is anymore. Boy or girl, whatev! I am just dying to know already!!!!!

out of the first trimester!

2011-07-17T12:23:00.000-07:00

we even have gotten the 2 dimensional ultrasound which typically is not available until later but my doctor is pretty amazing... the baby looked away just as we were about to see its face...

So life has been entirely crazy here in the Crandell home. Both Andrew and I still have crazy work schedules and my house often goes uncleaned for a week at a time. There used to be a point where i was very ANAL about the well being and cleanliness of my house. I still am scaqred to have kids because i still dont like messes:) But this little baby inside has been making me sick since the 2nd week after we found out. I will have a bad week then a good day then a bad day and holy cow it is just a roller coaster. I find that if i dont eat something in time it will ruin my day with the worlds worst headache. I am hoping now that all that starts to go away with the start of my 2nd trimester... I have had 3 untrasounds so far, once a month and the next one i will get will be when we find out if it will be a girl or a boy. We are both hoping for a boy but as long as it is healthy and a boy OR a girl I will be happy. Andrew has been the absolute best. He is so excited and likes to lean about what is happening in every week. My mom is moving out at the end of this month and i am excited that i will start to get the nursery together! We still have quite the time until this little one makes its arrival so i am already pulling out the ideas for the nursery... Well thats about it for now. Maybe i will post again once we know what it will be:)

We are Expecting the first little Crandell into out home in 2012!

2011-06-06T22:58:00.000-07:00

One of my girlfriends read my blog the other day and said it would have lured her more to read if the title gave away all the info in its entirety so there it is. For all those seeing the actual blurb instead of having to follow my pathetic attempt to once a year blog:) I hope to get better but i will not promise. Its way late right now, its 11 pm, i left work early to lay here on my couch and throw up all day. How come some people have so many kids again??? :)

funny you should ask!

2011-05-31T17:37:00.000-07:00

So i see my last text was about baby time... I threw most off by saying i was just holding off on a baby until i got going with this ne promotion at the bank of mine, but the truth is, we are pregnant! We have been off BC since last year and jusy have been waiting out when we would be fortunate and blessed enough to get pregnant. We are still so early and it feels like it it is going by so slowly! Our 3 year anniversary came and went in may2nd, i will have to post about it because andrew planned sucha special outing for us. in fact so special that we ended up pregnant! ha, funny how that works. I just thought i would clear the air because i have already heard some stuff like being "sucks for them" or they were not plannin it.... Well actually, we were and we both are so very excited and are very happy we waited for how long we did. We are in a great position to have a baby and are both ready for this little bundle of joy to meet us in January!

Baby time?

2011-03-21T21:24:00.000-07:00

Everyone i know and everyone around me is with Child. Its kinda sad. There are so many times where me and Andrew are so ready for it to be but its not... I guess i just keep waiting. Now that we are both starting our own businesses and i got a hugh promo at work it makes me even more sad because NOW its not the right time for kids. I keep thinking that i am being so selfish and that i need to fulfull my motherly calling then i always hold back... ughhhh.. why can't i just make up my mind!

to the 2nd happiest place on earth...

2011-03-20T11:50:00.001-07:00

Disneyland- Here i come!

Promotion??

2011-03-17T21:28:00.001-07:00

well i know that i posted about my interview like FOREVER ago. The two days turned into like two weeks and i still did not hear back. A girl who i work with got announced that SHE got a promo but i was just left to wonder..... So the result is... YEP!! I am new miss maricopa wells fargo banker:) I am so extremely excited! I am excited for Andrew and I that i am doing so well with this company and moving up so quickly. Manager here i come! Andrew told me the other day that since i am always so good at my jobs that i was just born to work so he should stay at home with the kids when we have them.... i just dont know about that. It seems like i never am able to get on here and blog so here is a small update for now! All is well in crandellworld- Andrew should be getting his taxidermy up very soon! He even has a name picked out and a logo! he is pretty excited:)

Curebrandon.org

2011-02-27T00:48:00.000-08:00

PLEASE go to this website... Brandon Muir is a dear friend of Andrew and I. He has such a loving family and he is very sick. 25k is needed for his next surgery. The website explains it all! its this saturday march 5th- ANY size donation helps or you can buy raffle tickets to enter into drawings for over 40 prozes including a flat screen tv, airline tickets, photo sessions and much much more! PLEASE DONATE and help a family get their dad back!

www.curebrandon.org

dearest sister and brother in law yarns

2011-02-27T00:46:00.000-08:00

I still love you and your family! I miss all you guys and i know i dont stay in contact much because if you read my below post you will understand- which i know you do anyhow- but one day when i am a mom and i dont work my life away then i wil be able to skype you and you can follow me on twitter and you can leave me dumb messages on my facebook because that is when i will have time in my day to do so.... Happy anniversary, you guys are getting to become a freakishly old married couple. Please dont start going to bed at 8 soon.. wait a few more years for that. I love you and miss you and send you my warmest squishes even though this is late and i could have told you on the phone earlier- peace

for all those of you who read my "inspirational" posts... and comments...

2011-02-27T00:24:00.000-08:00

I just thought about logging in tonight and posting SOMETHING!!! but i was not sure what. I like it when i get comments, then i know at least SOMEONE has read my rantings which most of the time they are all over the place, my apologies:) The other day i was shocked when this particular person told me that they read my blog- i felt pretty good. Sometimes i post things on here thinking noone reads up on the crandell home in good ole maricopa--- so here is what has been happening.
1.) Andrew has been hard at work doing his taxidermy. He is so passionate about it and he often asks for my help to hold something or sometimes just to hold back the hair on the hide... and yes even one time he wanted my help skinning a bobcat- it was... different. I must say he has told me to shut my mouth a few times because i am so critical and i ask all kinds of questions because i am not exactly sure how it all works but i am learning... nevertheless, he still insists of having me a part of it:) haha. oh man... he is doing good though, ironically i found him his first client who he is doing like 6 mounts for! The other day he actually got his first phone call from a random stranger!!! He is still putting in lots of hours at Pro-Em and he helps out this other company and his bro at time when he can as well... needless to say he is a pretty busy guy.
2. As far as me... I am still obsessed with how i can become better with my photography and i am never far from looking at all the new camera accessories, lens, bodies... etc. It's too bad andrew and i both have expensive hobbies... since we are both just starting out we dont charge very much so we have to save up to upgrade:) I did my first twin photo shoot a few weeks ago and i am pretty happy with the outcome of that. I have already booked up my whole month of march aside from my long hours at wells fargo and I have a lot of events i will be volunteering at as well. I dont get a minute to myself anymore it seems...but on the good side i am doing service which is most pleasing and so gratifying! Wells Fargo... I love it! I would have never imagined that 5 months after i start i would be interviewing for a promotion... are you wondering what the answer is about my interview from like the beginning of February!!!!???? well.... here it is.... MONDAY! you will know monday...:)
3.) My mom... she is still living with us and is often doing my laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, cooking, and often times doing my errands and shopping! Yep she is like my live in maid for the moment... I will really miss her when she leaves... not to mention how much my dogs will! It;s so funny how much they truly love her... I cant seem to figure out how she does it just yet but one day i will....
4.) baby on the way? No, just to lay that out. It seems like EVERYONE is pregnant and having kids. I want one one day then the next i change my mind or dont feel ready and the list goes on and on. I am more ready now then i was when i first got married... i will just leave it at that:) BUT!!!!! for the first time in my married life...... which is ALMOST 3 YEARS! NOOOO woman on EITHER side is pregnant because Ginger just had her baby!!! I like that:)
let's leave this post to rest.

Don't be so quick to squawk

2011-02-07T21:07:00.001-08:00

I have just realized this... well i can't say that i JUST realized this but there are certain random things that come to my mind... right now just happens to be one of them and luckily enough i am at my computer... Once upon a time I was a mean girl. I don't know why. I did not gain anything from it but i guess i sure did lose. I was out to dinner with a few friends the other night... they told me... "we vouched for you the other night" I said how is that??? They said there is a guy we hang out with who went to school with you and he just could not believe that you and Andrew had ended up married... For anyone who reads my blog you will probably agree with that. I was the converted LDS girl who was good for 4 years fell off the wagon to get back on to almost fall off again and in there i had my moments, dont we all. I can only say i WISH i would have done things different but i am not so sure that i would have. I mean sure i could have been that sweet little innocent grl who never fell victim to her upbringing but get real if thats what you were expecting. Think about this. I am for the most part normal. I never got into drugs when my parents were ALMOST columbian drug lords... haha I did not become a drunken alcolholic even though i was given the permission to drink ever since i turned 15... I did not get involved with TOO bad of people, and by the time i was 14 I had become a member of the most amazing church on earth. Hold on... I am getting somewhere with this. It;s not all bad... so back to my story... this guy said tha i was a pain the A in high school, and i WAS. I really was. I was only friendly and outgoing and make a fun life for myself the last two years of my high school of which the last year i had lost my best friend in the whole world to something that was a lie and i just bottled it all up inside and retaliated. For a moment i ruined my life. I thought about the words that guy had used to describe me in high school. No wonder why people were "worried: when they heard me and Andrew Crandell. I could only imagine in their eyes they are seeing a church full of innocent kids inside and i am the train roaring down the tracks a hundred miles an hour. That makes me sad. Sad to think that i was and still am the ONLY one to be able to make up for that. Not even make up for it but make it better from here on out. I so am the furthest thing from mean. I CAN be... like when i punch andrew in the kidneys, but other than that i mean to harm. I know since I dont keep in touch with many people that they would ever read my blog but to those who do and i was mean to you in my days of high school, I am sorry:( I was just a dumb kid who thought i was the most important thing in life. So just remember that next time when someone says I am a pain in the butt... I might be, but in high school i did not mean it:)))
Now on this OTHER thought of mine... I have CRAZY neighbors and they fight aLOT and just live a different lifestyle... bless them for that. But... I SERIOULSY have the most cool amazing super hot husband who truly truly cares and loves me... He is simply Ah-mazing. For that simple fact i am so thankful that he is the one by my side. Oh how i wish he were in primary with me on Sundays. I could use his skills, his patients and his understanding when a kid pulls a booger out of his nose and wants to share it.... There is just something about him being a priesthood holder that i just adore... I realized tonight that when i started crying watching the biggest loser that he sees me for ME. period. I am emotional a baby at times. He gets me things when i break my foot again... yes i did it AGAIN! and he does ot even call me the L word... Lazy... haha. I ditched church this sunday because of the broken foot on saturday and sunday morning i was wokent o him dressed and ready to go to church without me... that is a true leading example.
Here is my last thought for the night....
I can't even begin to tell you how much debt i see in my job. Everyday i see someone drowning in their debt or unable to manage money. Some are legit and some are just careless. I was able to get a 35 dollar fee removed today off a ladies account who is normally one of my regular customers. She is out of a job and hardly has any money at all. She did not ask for help, in fact she did not even know she got a fee yet. I just felt in my heart that giving her back that 3 dollars would make a world of difference for her. I called her up and let her know she got the fee because of a 15 dollar check that went through. I could hear the hurt in her voice when i told her and she said she would try to go do a side job to come in and pay it. I told her i took care of it as well as deposited 25 dollars in her account (it was not my money) . I was amazed at how her reaction was i can not even begin to describe. It just filled my heart. I did not DO anything really that makes me the hero... I thought i would try and help her and her boy out and in return she taught me a lesson that was just so indescribable i cant describe what i felt in words. When you think your life is hard- just think of someone elses. goodnight.

I just called to say... I'm sorry.

2011-02-06T19:27:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say sorry tonight. A heart felt sorry to all the Steelers fans who were so set that the steelers would not lose to a team like the packers.... Yay for cheese heads! :)

more good news

2011-02-03T23:27:00.000-08:00

It seeme like this year is just full of good times so far! I am happy to say that I with the anticipation of this new wells fargo job that i have... went into it hoping that within 6 months i could have the opportunity to become a banker... I was told no that i had to wait 12 months... I have given this teller position everything that i have and it is HARD! Yesterday i was told by my manager that he thinks that i am ready to become a banker but that it is not a 100% guarantee... ughhhhhh. I have to INTERVIEW. I am bad with interviews i think.. I am so critical of myself! but... I am SOOOO excited... so here is kinda the scoop... I wont blab of what i make now because it is ok... but right now my bonus checks cap out every quarter just like the bankers... but if i make banker it could potentially be 10 times MORE! WHAT! yes.. 6 dollars more an hour and wayyyy bigger bonus checks. This would be amazing... Since i lost my oh so good paying job at verizon it has been a little tight so this would be such a blessing! I am so grateful that we both have jobs however and we have been able to pay all our bills and still have some fun, but i got used to making a good pay every year with VZW and it would be nice to start building the savings back up....SOOOOOO i interview with the big boss on Wednesday... I have to give a little something something on a non wes fargo product.... I have no idea what i am going to do!!!!! but... wish me luck!

I can't beleive the way i feel

2011-01-20T21:01:00.000-08:00

I can't even put into words how i feel today. It's pretty amazing though. This year me and Andrew decided not to slack on anything or take anything for grantid... example.. Church and all the fine blessings that come with it. These are our thoughts wel just a few... church is mostly habit and i i dont mean that in a bad thing. once you get out of the habit of going you find it easier to find xcuses to not go or to work on sunday or to just find other ways to justify breaking the sabbath... once you get behind on your tithing its too hard to catch back up.... okay i will stop there because i am ruining my mood... Andrew and I just wanted to give 100% again. We saw the spots where we became laxed, working on the sabbath because we "had" to and watching a rated r movie just because it looks REALLY good. We would never just drink a beer because it smells really good would we? Of course not so why cut corners else where... I had this happen to me at work last year. wells fargo sent out reimbursement checks to people who had their mortgage there because taxes went down... I had 2 testifying moments and the people had no idea i was a member of the church... one guy got a check for 900 ISH- i asked him if the check came to his surprise and he said yes! He said you have no idea how thankful i am for it because my wife almost divorced me! He said that earlier that week he had felt the need to donate 900 dolalrs to a charity and when he told his wife she was really upset... who has 900 to just "donate" in these times? i felt so bad for him... but then he said I am just so thankful for this blessing, I know it is all because i pay my tithing to the lord. It killed me because i knew i had not paid my tithing fully in 2010. second scenario a woman came in and had a check from the same situation... she said that if this check did not come she had no idea how she was going to pay her 1600 dollar mortgage... she has 6 kids and her husband is out of work:( again it showed the blessings we get when we pay our tithing! last thing that also happened was a woman came in to make a deposit.. I asked her what account because she was showing2 on the system, she said i only have one... i told her she had 1 active and one in pending close state but she knew nothing of it... her husband was supposed to close it back in july but he left the money in there... she banked 800 dllars that day and she cried to me! she was so thankful and i t just lit my heart up. I cannot express hwo thankful i am for what i have and being able to pay tithing. I have paid this year, yes i know we are only 20 days in but today andrew and i were blessed TWICE! just from paying our tithing and it makes me feel amazing. It is sad that members like me choose to not hold tight to that rod. We are all human so we make mistakes. I am so thankful for our ward out here and how accepting and loving they have been and are! We truly were supposed to make our home out here in maricopa! I feel like i am becoming a woman! as cliche as that sounds i have always been "waiting" for that time when i would start looking at myself as an adult and i think that being apart of a steady ward with a calling and Andrew and I starting on our path to being parents (no not yet) is making me look at myself in a new light. My husband truly amazed me today too. This guy he works with is going down a bad path and he said somethin to the affect to andrew about if andrew had a lot of money there is no way andrew woudl turn down cheating on me with a hot bankging blonde and that all marriages are based on money and there is no TRUE love.... Andrew told him his feelings and in a way testified to this guy of what he believes and if you know ANdrew you know at all costs he would pretty much avoid a debate ESPECIALLY to that magnitude... but he didn't. i dont know where that ramble was going but i know that since our church attendance and involvement has been steady and consistent the blessings and our feelings have changed so much. I am truly grateful for this. For the sacrifices that were made so i cn repent for these dumb little mistakes i make every day! It is so amazing to have the restored chirch on the earth today to guide my family!

Are you watching this foorball game???

2010-12-30T19:26:00.000-08:00

Holy cow... Overtime!!! my husbands team is on carolina of course... 2nd down, 5 seconda left, fieldgoal running on the field, spiked ball with 1 second left!!! full field, more than 11 players on field, penalty but one second to kick! tied it up!!! Overtime, he is in heaven:)

The day after..

2010-12-26T14:18:00.000-08:00

This week is weird, i felt like yesterday was sunday, today i feel like it is saturday and it's crazy that is three days i will be 24! then 3 days from that a new year will be here... this new year i already have so many new things planned out... in my mind!!! I am not ready for this year to close because i know one of the hardest parts at the bank is to start writing 2011 instead of 2010. I am a tad bit excited to sit down and actually right out all these new years resolution things i have in my head and share them with no one but andrew:) haha- This year has been a great one for us, we truly are blessed depsite all of our iniquities! We have been so laxed with the things that we should be doing DAILY! sometimes i have to stop what i am doing in that very moment and just thank heavenly father for what we have and what we are able to accomplish. the question to start our family has been weighing on our minds lately but we thought we would wait until the new year to make our final decision on that one too... so as for now we have stopping drinking soda, not making my lessons same day and decide wether to continue in my career,which by the way is going so well i am even surprised myself!... or to start the family... decisions decisions....

I can't believe christmas is here and i don't want it.

2010-12-22T19:11:00.000-08:00

I have been so consumed in this crazy world lately that i have no time to breath, think, etc. It is Christmas! yes let me say... CHRISTmas! but i think they should change the name to presentmas because that is all most people think about. dont get me wrong, i like presents especially if they are surprises, but working at a bank this year is showing me just how much people really do spend on christmas... get this... one girl opened a credit card for 8 THOUSAND dollars and she said she had just spent it ALL!!! I also had one little old lady take out 3700 in cash just to give to one of her daughters who she "owes" christmas too- it just makes me sad, it seems the inly thing that matters anymore is just who can get the best and most expensive new cool gadget. This time of year always humbles me. This year as so many people have lost everything that they worked for, some not by choice and others let theirs go, but when i take a look at what i have in my life, i should be NOTHING but thankful for. I have a home! WE have a home, at age 23 Andrew and I OWN a home and with a good payment we can pay withough draining us every month, we have not one car but 2! We have awesome families with lots of fun kids in it to play with and have as examples around us... I have been reading the work and the glory books and realize just how hard it was for the saints to even go to church! I have the church with the sacrament and amazing ward friends i can go to any time! I HAVE the gospel, the most important thing that got me to the point that i am now. I cannot really express where I would be if i had not converted 9 years ago!!! On top of all this I am working on an awesome career. I am truly blessed and i am thankful for what i have been blessed with. This season me and Andrew decided to have familly time, some with his, some with ours and some to ourselves, no need for presents that accompany debt:) Nothing like a christmas vacation movie and some hot cider on christmas day! Merry Christmas to everyone who reads this, and who does not read this. I hope no one takes offense to what i said- not all people who buy presents are BAD- take this the right way. Christ was A gift to us, A gift to give is good:)

Gratitude

2010-11-29T22:46:00.000-08:00

This holiday season has brought much fun and joy to me! I spent thanksgiving with my in laws mainly because my mom had to work so my family did not get together this year. I was sad to miss my moms cooking and my sisters pies but it was nice not having to rush to get from one dinner to the next. Hardly nobody from the Crandell side ended up coming up this year, it was different than i have ever seen up here, usually there is not enough beds! Well to say the least i did not want to go to church on sunday. My mother in law told me to force myself because thats when i NEED to go. I was so glad i did- wellt o sacrament anyway:) the talks on gratitude were very humbling and it made me think about all i complain about and other people not having. The stories had statements like, be grateful you dont know everything for it give you an opportunity to learn- this concept applies to EVERYTHING in life. I always complain about the most petty things in my mind after i really thought and devoured what the talks were about. I complain because my cell phone sucks but i am not grateful that i can afford one and that i have a job to be able to have that luxury. I complain that my clothes are not what i USED to buy, but at least i have clothes and shoes and money to buy any- the luxury to buy them and not Make or Sew them... I could go on and on. I take so many things for grantid without giving thanks and being grateful. My husband is such a good example of this. He always tells me i need to be more grateful. He is so great and keeps his patience with me, which sometimes i lose very quickly with things and people- He is always grateful for whatever i do for him, cook for him or make for him- even if the food is not good which i have made (just) a few bad- not so tasty dishes. In this new year- yes i am already starting the things i need to work on for my NYR- hopefully not to break on january 2nd! I want to be more grateful and thankful for what i have and what i am able to do. i have legs, i need to walk/run more. I have talents and i need to use them. I am grateful i was even able to spend thanksgiving week with my family, to andrew and Daniel who are teaching me how to hunt AND showing me patience. I will post more about my hunt later:)

so i have decided....

2010-11-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

Since my blog with all my photos died i decided to do a different one- I could not figure out what happened to it... It is mcmfotographi.blogspot.com- it is under my family tab- i am updating it now with all my old stuff but have plenty new stuff to add so stay tuned for that- I am going up north for the thanksgiving week because i got drawn for bull elk so i will be doing a lot of blog at night- wish me luck to kill a big elk because i have never done this before!!!! eeeeee!!!! Ha[[y thanksgiving! be sure to give thanks!

one more note to add

2010-10-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

I found out today that in the working world, you have to be a smoker to qualify yourself to get multiple breaks in a day. I can't beleive we live in such a stupid world full of dumb people who smoke cigarettes!

I need a break

2010-10-01T22:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life is a blur, I get that. I hear parents a lot saying, when did they grow up? or how did they grow up so fast. Well now I understand just a little. 2 monthgs a go i started a job at wells fargo. a month and a half ago i hated my job at wells fargo. Let me emphasize the word hate to you. I did never want to go and when i was there i could not wait for the clock to hit the time that i was supposed to be off. My feet hurt because i was standing in heels for 8 hours a day and my legs hurt because my feet hurt and my head hurt because i would not stop complaining and moaning and groaning about how I hate my job but dont want to give it up because i have sundays off and blah blah blah. on the other hand... I love my job at the casino. I don't know if it is just the aroma of coming home every day smeling of old lady cheap perfume and cigarettes or if it the old nasty "7 star" people i have to deal with on a daily basis who expect you to pretty much wipe their butts for them! But i just like it. Boy do i sound so negative right now! getting to the point now. I love both of my jobs now... i have always liked the casino despite the crazy hours, no holidays or weekend off... but now i love the bank too. I am doing SO well there. Better than i ever have thought myself to do. I have confidence when i walk through that door and the people there now know that i am a force to reckon with... but can i keep it up? STRESS!!!! beginning of the month is always so tough because we are pushed to set appointments and get accounts. You would never know that a "teller" is a sales position but beleive me, it is not a walk in the park! so next time you go to the bank, be nice to your teller-0 the job is the hardest i have EVER had! it's crazy. so here is my rant. I don't know what to do! eeerrrr. The casino has full time openings that i could apply for and as of now i am an on call employee- oh please help. Casino... do i quit you and just focus on WF? or do i keep you and WF as i am doing now, squeezing my daily doings in with my picture taking that i enjoy so much.... oh the choices...
HEY!!!! does anyone need an account? :)

empty feeling and life changes

2010-09-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

some time back I decided I wanted a change in my life- not like a different hair style but a change in my feelings. I felt empty. I had no emotions at all, although from time to time i would cry for no good reason. For almost a month and a half we thought i was pregnant and i did not know how i felt about that either. I have always been one to know and say exactly how i was feeling but i couldn't, i was just Blah- I decided that it was just where we live, andrew hates it because there is no woods, i hate it because there is no life and we both hate it because of the heat. I will admit that i am not the worlds best prayer but i decided it was time to do just that. Andrew and I made a list of all the spiritual things we wanted to do and be better at- i will not list all of them but one of ours was not watching any rated r movies. I will admit it has helped and i feel so good that i have been able to conquer it. I took a trip with my sister in law caroline and for their privacy i wont share the story but i went and was able to see Fred, my brother in law. I could not beleive that it was him. He was a blessing to me, and it was EXACTLY what i needed to help me on my way. It made me see all the things in my life that i take for grantid every single stinkin day and the other things that i should hold so dear to me i almost dont even care about. the main example was my scriptures. I have a set of scriptures, i have books and the ensign and church literature at my fingertips at ANY given moment but i don't take the opportunity to read It instead of watching TV. I let my everyday duties and stuff (satan) tell me that i am too busy to pray, to read my scriptures and to attend church, institute, even FHE. The world is so fast paced that for these things i dont even think twice about doing and it is pathetic. I am pathetic to have such good things in my life and to not even give them a second thought. Andrew and I decided that couples prayer was something we would do morning and night- it helps! I can't beleive what it does for me, us! Fred's countenance had made me cry, made me think about how i would feel if all the sudden the world was taken from me and i had nothing to do and could do nothing about it. It really made me realize how blessed i am and how stupid i am for abusing it all so much! I WANT the spirit in my home daily, but yet i dont invite it in daily. I WANT to attenc church every week and fulfill my calling, but yet i HAVE to keep my second job and not go. I love love love visiting teaching. I never really did it in singles ward or when i lived in Heber but now that i go and do it, i love it- honestly it is the highlight of my month! I just can't beleive that i hit that "bottom" to where i needed to be woken up by someone ( i guess it happens to us all) to see what i truly want. I am so thankful for moving to heber when i was young and having all those religion battles with Brian and Brandi, otherwise i would have never joined the church. It all seems crazy to me to look back and see what i have been through and lean on that as a crutch, no more of that crapola. I need to feel my emotions whether it is sad or depressed, happy or sad, I just am not happy with this empty feeling and just being here. I would not have chose to be a part of the 2/3 that want to come down and i know Heavenly father would not have given me a body if i had no purpose. There are so many things i want to and need to accomplish in my life by myself and with my husband. I think about my sister in law azure who died and have a peaceful feeling knowing that she without a doubt of my mind will make it to the highest glory and that is what i want to feel on a daily basis if anything should happen to me, and right now i pretty much feel like i would go to hell! well i feel better now then i did 2 months ago:) But this is just my honest and raw emotion. Change can only start with me.

another missionary transferred.

2010-09-06T11:10:00.000-07:00

The pictures are always taken in front of whitey- andrews first deer he shot.

Since we moved into our house a frequent guest of ours are the missionaries. we made good friends with the first pair and it has been that way ever since. They will stop by on their way home and we try to feed them often, another one of our favorites just got transferred a few weeks ago, we always get a picture with them when they do- Since the missionaries have come over now that we have our own house, every time they leave in my mind i challenge myself to do a little better. Me and andrew have not been the greatest about sticking to every counsel like we used to do. I will post on this later bbut here is a pic of the missionary who left.

Fourth of July- Late

2010-09-06T10:44:00.001-07:00

we always go up to Heber for the 4th of July celebration. This time My father in law is running in te senate so we were in the parade, which i did not get any pictures of dang it, and we all had a Chester Crandell shirt on. Since there was so many people at Alice and chester's house we stayed at my moms house since she is living down in the valley now- we had a lot of fun. we even left the dogs at home with my mom this year. I forgot to take any good pictures really because we were so busy, maybe next year. I hung out a lot this time with my nephew Eric. My brother brian bought a snow cone machine and he had a booth set up so we got to eat snow cones everyday! Andrew was being a bad uncle and getting eric to say freaking with every sentence. Eric, andrew, and I were walking back down to the high school and every truck eric would see he would say who, what a big freaking truck! Andrew asked eric if he wanted to go freaking swimming and eric said, " No, not freaking swimming, just swimming!" it made me laugh.

That is the big "freaking": truck

A year has come and gone already...

2010-09-06T10:24:00.000-07:00

here it is finished, they look exactly like our dining table, i love them and tehy were cheap!

All i have to say is thanks babe.

September 1st was a year that Andrew and I have owned and lived in our home. It is so crazy to think that the time has flown by so fast. As i stood in my home the other day looking around i made a list in my head of the things i STILL need to get done, here it is
*Finish painting the 18 foot walls-
*DECORATE our huge upstairs loft- We have was retro vintage (ugly) couch and chairs up there,that andrew has agreed to get rid of:) and NOTHING on the walls but paint- solid color. I take that back we have an elk up there and blinds in all the windows, but NOTHING else. We bought a projector because that is going to be a theater room but we have yet to put it up, paint the wall for the screen or get new furniture:)
*Paint our master bedroom- or any of the other 2 for that matter.
*decorate the master bedroom and bath, or ANY of the bedrooms and bathrooms. The downstairs one and the upstairs bath have a few things in them but nothing compared to where i wanted them to be in a years time.
*patio furniture for out back- we did finsih landscaping the backyard however.
*choose what i want with my kitchen, it was red and now it is beige, but i want it something else.
* Finish stenciling the laundry room. I painted it green and started to stencil but after i put the stencil down i did not finish.
*find window treatments for the dining room/kitchen windows.
*Finish grouting the kitchen after the flood
*Finish the cabinet filler in the kitchen after the flood
and then everyday i feel like it is not clean enough.

The good accomplishments are....
* we have never been late on a payment, even after i lost my job at verizon!
*we have been able to actually help out family when they come down with a place to stay-that's always fun
*we have had the joys and blessing of making our house a home and feeling the spirit here. It is so different being able to "invite" the spirit into your home when it is YOUR home...:)
* we have made a truck load of memories with the work we have done here that can never be taken away or forgotten
* I came home to Andrew staining my wooden bar stools i picked up at a garage sale for 5 bucks! pictures to follow.
*we have our own rules, for the most part aside from HOA- No apartments and we don't live WITH anyone in their home so we get to do whatever we want. It is so fun coming home and being loud and not worrying about waking anyone up, or leaving the house a complete mess if we want to!
*We got our house for an AMAZING deal, even if the market never picks back up again, we are happy with what we picked and what we chose for our money! thanks to an awesome realator Kevin!

oh the list can go on and on if i let it. Andrew and I are so happy and proud or ourselves though with what we have been able to accomplish since we have gotten married. we both have really good jobs, we were able to become debt free, we own a house, 2 cars, we can pay our bills, we have an awesome ward with good friends, 2 cute dogs, a great strong friendship which makes for a healthy marriage and we are doing great. We are missing a few kids and i am missing my degree but that will all come in time! Thanks for all the love and support our friends and family have shown throughout this wonderful year or home ownership and almost 2 and half years of Marriage!

Photos!

2010-09-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

I am doing my own little photo blog instead of putting the pictures on this one. I names it crandellography.blogspot.com. :)

A Scorpion slash- bite? WHA?

2010-09-06T10:13:00.000-07:00

Have you ever hurt yourself and can NOT for the life of you figure out how you did it? Well i did,- Here is the scoop. A friend of mine from my ward is pregnant, so yesterday i did her photos- we were on the train tracks and i cut my RIGHT toe on a cinder rock or however you spell synder---- i looked down at it, said ow, then kept on my journey. Not kidding- like 45 seconds after that my LEFT foot- whole thing started to hurt, throbbing pain so bad that i could not walk, then it became numb and all i could do was barely limp to my car. Rachael and her husband were lokking as if i were nuts and could not understand how my left foot hurt if i cut my right one- Me either. I continued on with the shoot, crazy pain every time i stepped, i could barely even get up on my couch to take a picture of her below me. my foot became on size-parallel on both sides to my toes without any definition and it became numb, but still soar- how that works i don't know. I called the doctor, i have a close doctor friend who i ask all my doctor questions to, sent her the pic and told her the way i felt-adament that is a scorpion bite! Now before i called her Andrew- my dear husband who is working up north told me to look for bite marks or a bite mark because it sounds like i got bit by something. I could not see anything, but now, i see a little bite mark or a "sting" mark and my flesh is peeling away at that same spot to. So... it is Monday at like 10:30 am and i have been downstairs on my couch in the same spot since SAturday night since like 6- with my mom waiting on me hand in foot because no joke i can BARELY even make it to my backdoor to let my dogs out. It is terrible. I had big plans this weekend too, i even had to give up my money making good shift at the casino! ugh, so here is a note to the little scorpion who bit my poor little foot (not that it was not my fault because i had flip flops on) and who made it numb with horrible shooting pains up my whole entire leg, nausea in my stomach to the point of throwing up and a headache... I will kill you if i ever find you, and if i dont find you i will kill any other scorpion that i come across- Love, your victim- Mandy.

Danielle dress fitting cont....

2010-09-05T11:02:00.000-07:00

I have yet to complete all the photos that i want to finish editing for my dearest friend Danielle. She is getting married in December and I am soooo super excited for her. If I only had more time in each of my days to get them ALL finished at once!

The last of the Crums...

2010-08-29T01:59:00.000-07:00

so... here is the last of the crums- It took me forever- sorry caroline. I need to stop working two jobs, neglecting my homely chores, laundry and cleaning altogether, cooking and sleeping and take some time to myself... sad thing is... andrew is at work until like 6 am so i am using all the time i can possibly get on the computer doing photos now so i dont have to hear him telling me to get off of the computer later:)

Will you help a family in need?

2010-08-28T23:33:00.000-07:00

I know we all hear the many many stories about all the kids in the hospital and the struggles they face everyday to keep their lives. The prayers are AWESOME-so don't forget to pray but I need something else from you. The other day I was told by my cousin that a friend of hers baby is in the phx childrens hospital and has something to the effect of an "adults" equalcy of muscular distrophy- A baby needs the body to function right in order to grow and progress and this little baby is doing the exact opposite. Only heavenly father will sort out the determining factor of how long the baby has on earth at this point but we can all help- if you can. Along with the surgeries and hospital care the bills are piling beyond the point of ever seeing light at the end of the tunnel. They will be holding a silent auction but i thought it would be easier to auction or sell this decor below and give the proceeds to the family before the auction. If you have ANTYHING you can either donate, have to sell or auction, a package you can put together, make or donate if you are crafty or have your own business, let me know or leave me a comment and i would love to add you to the mix and trying to help this family! the decor below is not "priced" all except the one white mirror... I would like this to be a donation that can help the family so please keep that in mind- Thanks so MUCH!!!!

wedding dress fitting...

2010-08-28T22:59:00.001-07:00

I had the pleasure of going with Danielle to her dress fitting. This woman is a hoot and I love her. She is getting married at the end of the year in Detroit Michigan and I won't be able to make it so we are doing all we can here to celebrate for it! Pictures and more pictures. We will even do MORE photos when she gets back AFTER her wedding because I can't be there to be her photographer! (tear) So today she tried on 6 dresses and knew which one she wanted when she put her third on... it made me a little teary eyed to see that look in her face when she just knew which one that she wanted- I still remember that feeling. I am glad i could capture some of her feelings through photography on this special day of hers-

some more pictures of the crums...

2010-08-25T09:00:00.001-07:00

Caroline and I decided to try to get some better pictures than i got while in texas... we set out in the 150 degree weather and decided after about a half an hour and sweat dripping down everyones face that we should call it quits... I have some other pictured- same day but different location that i cant wait to get up but it will have to wait:)

rocco and eli...

2010-08-23T22:32:00.001-07:00

just sone random pictures... while in texas

2010-08-23T22:19:00.000-07:00

me and my friend.

2010-08-23T22:16:00.001-07:00

these were the very first photos i took as i was getting all the settings adjusted on my camera... I swear i took 300 photos of us until i got the quality to where i was happy with it! Then i played around with them a little bit... they are pretty cute!

my my where has the time gone...

2010-08-23T22:09:00.000-07:00

I can't beleive how long it has been since i have blogged! It seems that my life is just passing me by and I can't do anything to make it slow down. I am only 23 years old and i feel like an old lady! let's see... working..check. andrew working...check. me working 2 jobs... check! That seems all it is anymore. i clean my house and when i turn around all the laundry is dirty, the alarm is going off and the food in the fridge has rotted... i swear my dog... well my puppy! has been in heat for over a MONTH! and Ia m pretty positive she is pregnant thanks to my mother not understand the concept that a male and femal dog in heat =puppies! We have been doing quite a bit lately but i can't account for it all because i have not gotten out my camera in years... well my old one that is.. That's right, just like everyone else i jumped on the bandwagon and got a nice SLR! I love photography but since i bought the camera it seems like it has been too dang hot to go out and take some good photos... I took a trip to Texas with Caroline and the kids to go see Fred and i took some pictures there, got some of a friends kids, caroline and her kids again, and then my friend danielle and her family. Danielle is also getting married at the end of the year and i have somewhat been helping her pull all the details of it together. I got a new job, I work at wells fargo. finally a job with good hours, sundays and holidays off---- I have NEVER had a job like this in my life!!! I could not be more excited. I just finished my first week on my own out of training though and it has been pretty quiet so far! So soon i will be posting some of the pictures i have been able to take and Hopfully... HOPEFULLY we will be up in Heber sun and mon for the end part of our yearly family reunion. It has been a while since we have been able to get up there for some good family time.... more to post later this is a lot of info so hopefully i will keep up to date a little better from now on.

This is RIDICULOUSLY LAME!

2010-07-26T22:47:00.000-07:00

I was driving down the 202 East the other day when i saw a billboard called==== MY LAME SEX...I thought to myself how insane someone would have to be to make that billboard, let alone the person let them rent the space... Well tonight i looked on t he website. I knew it was not porn or something of that nature because the billboard has a man and a woman on it and they are both pointing the finger at each other... You would NEVER beleive what this mylamesex.com website is all about!!!

are you ready?????

It is CORNERSTONE! It is a CHRISTIAN church. In their website... this is what it says...Sex is the greatest, but what if what we don’t know about sex is actually keeping us from a fulfilled sex life?

I think i missed something??? I am pretty sure god does not teach us through the tools that we have that if our sex life sucks and that we are not satisfied enough because sex is everything you know... that we need to drive to the cornerstone shristian fellowship church and fix it? or whatever they suppose they have the cure all for???? I am in crazy land right now even trying to think who in their right mind thought it would be a good idea to advertise their church with SEX. There are other ways about this and I cant stand this stupidity out of people.:)
oh poop... on a better note Andrew and I saw despicable me today and it was very adorable.

You should not judge..ANYONE!!!!

2010-07-21T16:47:00.001-07:00

Today i got a text from an old friend who i used to babysit for. She brought to my attention that she had to set someone straight about me the other day. The scenario went something like the person asking her who i married again, she said Andrew Crandell and the response was..." who would have ever thought..." I will admit that it upset me a little. I may have taken it the "wrong" way but how else would that be meant???????? I have tried so hard and can whole heartedly say that gossip is not a part of my life anymore. I fall short every now and then but i try my best to just not gossip about ANYONE. The reason why this response kinda jerked me was because there are the small minded people usually from heber who i went to school with who have this perception of me that i am a bad person. Let me tell you, think what you want- Yes i will clear up the "rumors" that i did make a mistake while i was dating a non menber but it is none of ANYONES business as long as i have handled my sins with heavenly father. YOU are not to judge me and it gives you no right to make a judgment on information that YOU do not know. This world is full of nasty hipocritical people who never have anything nice to say out of their mouths. It is always did you hear this, or can you beleive that. SHut your freaking mouths! Especially for the mormon people who do it and have said it about me. If you dont like me it is non of my business, practically i could care less, dont take this for me being bitter but if you have nothing better to do with your life then to pick out other peopls faults, maybe you just look in the mirror. Our religion is about FORGIVNESS! not that i need to be forgiven from any random human, but come on people. Focus on your own life and your own faults a little more than picking out everyone elses. I am the first one to admit that i made a mistake. I made many mistakes, and i still do but the difference is, is that i am not the judgmental person. Make a perception of me all you want based on a mistake that was made in HIGH SCHOOL, almost 6 years ago! I guess if YOU are perfect you can cast the first stone... right???

On a little lighter note... After all of the mistakes that i made, have made and WILL make, i can not help to be extra thankful for the gospel and the atonign sacrifice my savior made for me. Without him i would stuck in that small mind that others hold certain indivuduals to. I just can't beleive how blessed i have been with finding such an amazing husband and having all the blessings we have and still get each day in or home. I can't complain about anything because i would be ungrateful for what i have accomplished. I guess my feelings on what other people say is just one more thing i need to work at getting better at. I know who i am, but better yet Heavenly Fathers know who i am and the intentions of my heart- to that I am thankful for.

On a heavier note...I am over this:)

The word is called Hiatus.

2010-06-06T18:19:00.000-07:00

And i am taking one. I am always so worried about this blog and always thinking that i need to spost stuff, but i don't so I am not going to worry about it for a while. I just realized that i am not private so there were really creepy people looking at my blog and trying to leave comments. Anyhow. I will update when i have more time and more reason to blog. :)

ANNOYED!

2010-05-22T12:05:00.000-07:00

I am so annoyed right now with people who just don't get the clue about life! Let me break it down for you... If someone, especially a family member is having a baby, or just had their baby... IT IS NOT YOUR RIGHT to try and steal their thunder because you want the attention to POST, BLOG or FACEBOOK about it before the MOTHER does. This is common sense to most human beings and I don't know many who do this. For instance my sister just had her baby, it would be NONE of my business for me to post anything about her new addition before she did, and i am her SISTER. There is a big difference between sister, and sister IN LAW! So stop being RUDE and taking the attention because it has NOTHING to do with YOU! It is BRANDIS special time so stop beign annoying and calling/texting a million times and just let her enjoy it! grrr....

You are Evited!

2010-05-19T09:48:00.000-07:00

Here is the link to our housewarming Evite:)http://www.evite.com/app/publicUrl/SGDZCASEVLLWFBAUVGST/crandellwarming

Our housewarming party!

2010-05-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

After all of the set backs we have had after buying our home, we finally feel that we are ready for our housewarming party!!! ANdrew is turning 24 tomorrow too so we thought we would just jumble it all together! There will be something to occupy all the kids and some good food:) Leave a comment with your email address so i can send you an invite if I have not already gotten a hold of you. Everyone is welcome:) I have had a lot of people asking me what we want or what we need and since we were not registered anywhere it was making it difficult... so we registered.. We are registered at bed bath and beyond, target, and khols. We are not too picky though, we are just grateful to have our home done:)

Happy Mother's day!

2010-05-14T00:12:00.001-07:00

This is my mother! She is such a sweet lady ( for the most part). She is a brat and her and I have such a close relationship. We do so much together, (when we can). She spoils me rotten and has boughten me the whole world in my life. She would give her limbs for her kids if need be. I just love her. She has a crazy personality yet she is not all there if you know what i mean:) Mom I know we have had our hard times in the fam but I am so grateful for you turning out the way you did. I am so grateful that i have a parent like you that i can go to and lean on for any dilema life throws me. You are going to do great down here in this new atmosphere and we all wish you the best, oh and good luck finding that massagae therapist husband:) Happy Mother's day. I hope you enjoyed your day with Andrew and I.

We took mom to that brazilian bull steakhouse in Chandler. We were STUUUUUUFFFED, if you have never been you should check it out, website is fogoebrasa.com. Leon and Amy introduced us last year and it was fun getting to go back there. Mom enjoyed it too. Oh yeah., the silly hat was because they sang to her in PORTUGESE because her birthday was the 8th:) she is such a good sport.

This was her before her big panel interview today. We had so much fun coaching for this interview. I interviewed her like i was one of the interviewers.:) She even wore my heels and I might add she looked very beautiful.

2 year anniversary goes hand in hand with some bowling.

2010-05-13T23:35:00.000-07:00

It seems like we have made a tradition out of bowling for our anniversary and I make it a tradition tolose so Andrew can feel better about his bowling skills:) We went out with the crums when we finally got some time off of work to celebrate a little past our two year anniversary. It feels so awesome knowing how far we have come in two years... no debt, we bought a house, and a dang good one at that, we are both in school. both have jobs, no kids in the works yet but have 2 dogs and plenty of kids in the family to get our baby fix:) We are doing so great and I am happy for that since all it seems anymore in this world are screwed up people who lie, cheat and scandal their way through life. I like the feeling of being in love and knowing that i love Andrew more and more with each passing day. I am grateful that I am able to be Andrew's eternal companion and look forward to many more moments with him. He is a bit stubborn, but I would not love him the same without that quality. He makes me smile, brings happiness to my heart, and he adores me! Most of all, there is no one else in the world we would rather spend our time with, just us-how it should be! Happy Anniversay to Andrew & Mandy Crandell. Next year we are going on a TRIP to somewhere special! A cruise of some sort, I will kidnap him if i have to.

Yes, Andrew had a mullet thanks to Alice:) He looked really handsome with it, but it is now gone:( ...And the other handsome guy is Owen, he is so cute.

I know i posted about this when it actually was our anniversary but we actually did do one thing for our anniversary besides work... BOWL! I sucked. We went bowling with Fred and Caroline and their kids. We had a ton of fun. Landie and I bowled together, SHE WAS BETTER THAN HER AUNT MANDY! haha. Of course Fred and Andrew were doing all the cool spins and stuff i did not know how to do, i don't even think i broke a hundred points!

a few long needed forgotten posts and randoms of what we have been up to

2010-05-13T23:25:00.000-07:00

I FINALLY finished a baby gift i had been working on for months! Andrew finally got sick of me just moving it around the house so i used my ninja focus and got it done! I LOVE hobby lobby and the deals that they have. I made this fairly inexpensive and i think it is so cute! I hope you enjoy it in your nursery Kiley:)

two years down, eternity to go

2010-05-05T11:12:00.001-07:00

It seems like i just did the one year down, eternity to go post, man time is flying! Well today is our two year anniversary!!! I just can't beleive it has come so fast. Right now it is so late and I justy got off work and Andrew is still at work. Crazy day. I just started a new job so our anniversary plans of a silverstein concert were ruined since it is cinco de mayo and it is a must that i work .. tear, they are one of my most favorite bands, but there is always next time. Me and Andrew have not had a lot of time together recently with both of our jobs. When school starts I bet life will be even crazier. I am thankful that we have no kids at the moment while we work all this out getting it situated to where I can stay at home with them when it is time for some babies:) I will do another post tomorrow when i have some brain power but tonight it is just this.

What we have been up to

2010-05-03T23:06:00.000-07:00

I need to get off this hiatus of mine from the blogging world! what we have been doing

andrew- WORKING! His job is so hectic and his hours are always so crazy but we are grateful for him to have a job. He leaves at 430 am sometimes and does not get home until 2 am at times:( He is a trooper though, he never even complains about it.
He finally got a few days to go to Heber and go shed hunting again...the first time he found nothing, he was bummed, but this trip was a victory, he found 3 sheds! He actually just found more time this weekend to make his last trip up for the season! I am so glad he has a hobby, but i wish we either lived closer or he had another hobby down here, he gets bored sometimes when i am not around.
Andrew also starts school in less than a month! He is excited, nervous and scared a little but he will do great.

Mandy- WORKING! I started a new job about 3 weeks ago, it was supposed to be thurs, fri and sat nights but it has turned into 7 days a week. I like it and I like the people i work with, but it is a demanding job and my schedule changes all the time...so by next week i will have worked 2 weeks straight! I too am grateful that i found a pretty good job in this economy. I went back to the restaurant side of things but i feel at home there. I just am getting through the next two years and justr having a job with money works:)
I start school in less than a month too.... BUT... now i am having second thoughts... I will post about that too...well i will get it out now... no i will wait...
i also watchc a few kids and i have one more often, her name is Taryn and Andrew and I love her so much.
I also was going to my aunts house every week for 1 or 2 days to help her with her business and such but now with this new job i have not found the time to do it. tear

As for both of us....
We just passed our 2 year mark!!! hooray... We didnt do anything because we both had to work. We have an eternity of anniversaries though so we will postpone this one.
We are getting our backyard landscaped!!! this is SO exciting... we are doing REAL grass, almost all of it, pavers, curbing, all the pretty stuff. I just got andrew a grill for our anniversary gift so we will be firing that thing up too!

Andrew cleaned the house today, it was SO dirty, i have also been taking a hiatus from cleaning too:) I will consider that my anniversary present:)

Miley and Louie are up to the same stuff... sleeping, chewing on sticks, eating and going on walks. Mmiley can sit, lay down, and high five now. She is really smart. I hope she gets just a tad bit bigger so her and Louie can have a few babies. She is only 2 pounds!

Mandy's canon camera- NOTHING! sitting on the desk, so hence the reason for no pictures.

Well that is about it. I will post more later about babies, school and get some pictures.

I like to quit..not like... but i do

2010-04-24T17:04:00.000-07:00

I have come to terms that i am a quitter. Not a good thing by a long shot, but it is easier to quit when things get too hard or too frustrating and even too complicated. I could list a whole laundry list but i won't because i don't want to look back and think of everything i quit and then feel ashamed that i would be so much more further along in life becaue i can't say that would really true. This is a late "resolution" but i am trying "not quitting" on for size.I don't quit the big things like my job, or my house payment or bills or my marriage, but all the other little stuff add up. It becomes to time consuming, too hard, to tiring. ugh i hate it. I want to do something and just stick with it until the task is finished. Almost like this blog, i want to quit it because it is too time consuming and I feel like I have nothing good to blog about since we are childless and i am not going to blog about my dogs on a daily basis, but I am not quitting this for some reason. I quit reading because it was too time consuming and i really enjoy reading, oh I will stop now, just random thoughts in my head for the day that are better out than in.

2010-03-24T17:29:00.000-07:00

I dont know what it going on with my blog... but when i upload a picture it shows the picture that was uploaded but then in the place where i type... where i am typing right now it just shows a bunch of text and words and stuff... does anyone have any suggestions as to what i did or what i should do to try and fix this problem???.............

Mandy and Eighmey at the Zoo

2010-03-24T17:05:00.000-07:00

A tribute to families

2010-03-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

I came across this today with the help of like a million text messages... It is a youtube video of a brian and azure and a few other couples that are friends with the men singing the cover of the song "one more day with you" by diamon rio. It is really special and I think that it was really thoughtful for these guys to do this. Of course you can't help but to cry, I knew Azure and I heard of Skylers death not too long ago. This is really cool. It solidifies what us Latter Day Saints stand for and knowing that families are forever brings this home just a little closer. It does not matter that Azure has been gone for over 2 years, 3 this october, things like this bring it all back and you can't help but to shed a tear, sad, but yet still such a happy tear knowing we will all get to see her again, and the other families will see their passed on loved ones as well. Check it out, it is pretty cool. Here is the link...www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCd8p9WlVIU you will just have to copy and paste... sorry
This is what they have posted on you tube:
Three2U presents the video of their recording "One More Day": a special tribute to the memory of their friends Charlee Hawkins, Azure Starkes and Skylar Stock. This video was produced to be used as a special tribute to their departed friends in a recent live concert in Arizona presenting the release of Three2U's new album titled 'Deep Peace'. This song was originally made famous by Diamond Rio. Three2U is Joe Tenney, Jon Buehner, and Richard Talbot. Their album is available at their website www.three2u.com and through amazon.com.

The time has come...

2010-03-24T13:02:00.001-07:00

for... SCHOOL! Yay! Well it only has taken him almost 2 years of us being married over 3 of not, but Andrew has finally decided that he needs some schooling to find a better job to support a family! I can't be more excited for him to start and then to finish! Since I need to finish my nursing degree i figured i would take the placement test as well to see where i am since it has been almost 3 years of no school for me either! geez i should not have quit! ugh... Anyhow, tomorrow at 11am after our escapade with the missionares we are going to take a placement test here in town at CAC, I am really glad there is a community college here in town so we do not have to drive so far away for school. Andrew has actually picked his field of study and I am very pleased with his decision! I am not telling what it is yet:) Anyhow, I thought i would express my happiness! It has been a long time coming and I have just let it slide since i do not want to be that nagging wife about him not going to school but i HAD to have that convo with his like 5 times since i stopped working because the route i am in now is not one i want to stay on for very long. I need to finish my degree as well for times like this, I don't want to be left behind but not the only problem is... is that since we did have two incomes in 2008 and most of 2009 we are not approved for ANY financial aid, the kind you don't have to pay back anyway and that makes me sad because we just got all the way out of debt and we don't want to get right back into it, even if it is for school[ I am done rambling on now, wish Andrew the best he is nervous for school and not sure how he will juggle life, work, school and marriage but I am sure he will do just fine at it:)

I could not resist taking this little boy's picture

2010-03-13T11:31:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago I took my niece Eighmey to the Phoeniz zoo! She was able to come down with her dad and stay at Aunt mandy and Uncle Andrew's house for a whole week! WE had a lot of fun. I will post pictures of the zoo in a few... while we were at the zoo we were standing in line for a drink and Eighmey kept looking at this little boy, I think he was 7 but i am not positive. Anyway he is SO handsome! He was such a good kid too he was not hyper or crazy he was just having a conversation with me like an adult! I had to ask him if i could take his picture, he just smiled and said sure. Dang i even forgot his name- I am calling that this boy will be famous someday! Do you think he is a cute little boy?

A few things I am grateful for

2010-03-11T22:31:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure where all the gushy stuff comes from but sometimes it just comes. I am feeling really grateful for quite a few things right now.
~ I FINALLY got a job. It took me forever and I had pretty much given up and knew i needed to just go back to school and then out of the blue i got a call.
~ I am grateful that I grew up working and know how to work and do a good job, so therefore i am grateful for the "promotion" I ALREADY got at work after about 9 days and now I will be in a new department AND making more money-can't complain.
~ I'm grateful that I was humiliated but yet still humble to take the job i have. To be honest it is not my forte and I have had ALOT of people young and old ask me what in the heck I was doing-even some of the managers asked me:)
~ I am grateful enough that i did not listen to all the people who said i do not belong at my job- let me let it out. I got hired to be a DOOR GREETER! at Wal Mart. I was just so glad that i had a job, i got my foot in the door and now I am doing different things-People underestimate Wal Mart-yes they have some old and slow workers there but the people i work with all are great and have very unique personalities.
~ Again, I anm grateful to have a job but also very grateful to not be a door greeter any longer:) ~ I am grateful that verizon decided to fire me as an employee so I could see that i can live my life free of debt and not have to spend so much and have so many things. It is hard not having money all the time to do and buy whatever you want, but i never heeded the council to "LIVE WITHIN MY MEANS"- Now... I do.
~ I am grateful to and for my husband that he has been so patient with me when i have wanted to give up and kick rocks. Now i won't give him all the credit but he truly is a good man, at times I think I don't deserve him but the temple dignifies everything we are/have and will be.
~ I am grateful for my mom- she puts up with SO much crap from us kids, work, and some more work. She truly is a trooper- hang in there mom, things will look up.
~ I am grateful for my dad- oddly enough I am sure EVERYONE knows of things he has done, said, or not said and the hard times we had as a family but now-today- my heart smiles when i see his name on my caller id.
~ I am grateful for planes, trains and automobiles, bikes and even treadmills:)
~ I am grateful for our church and all the wonderfulness it has about it, the stories, the morals, the standings, the solidity and the truthness of it.
~ I am grateful for missionaries, the pair we have now really push us to do good things.
~ I am grateful that families are forever. Recently one of my sister in laws' dad passed away-pur prayers are with the entire family- but it is only through our testimonies and strength that we know those who die are continuing the lord's work and what an amazing feeling that is to know that it is truly not the end.
~ I am grateful for my strong, sexy, loving, charming handsome rock of a husband. I know I already said this but things have been crazy for us lately and each day i find out some way to love him more and more. speaking of which he had a bad headache the other night and he was WHINING:) I gave him some Excedrin PM- the next morning all he could say was don't ever drug me again- It was cute... that was on Tuesday, Today... Thursday he has another bad headache, come 8 o' clock he asked for some more of that medicine:) I love him
~ And lastly I am grateful for EVERYTHING in my life that i failed to mention that makes my day go by much easier than it would had i been born in the 1800's:) I am grateful for my body that i have one that i can use, walk, run, jump, talk. There are everyday things that we all take for grantid- there are so many people in this workd restricted and confined to wheelchairs, beds, or even homes.
Be grateful- one of Gordon B. Hinkley's 6 B's. It is a small gesture that goes a long way!

~~What are you thankful for?~~

I have to brag...

2010-03-11T20:39:00.000-08:00

I totally did this post backwards-oops it's late:)

...about my hair stylist. She is AMAZING. I know i have family now that is in the same business and he is AMAZING too, but the girl who does my hair is one of my best friends, she always does such a good job and she is so patient because i have a TON of hair- NO JOKE she has to schedule me out 4 hours usually! It took us from 930-130 today and she even thins it out a little. Well anyway, she has been doing my hair for 4 years now and I am always being asked where i get my hair done. Whoever knows me knows that I like color in my hair, not crazy colors just the usual but i like a lot of contrast. Heather does just that, just the way i love it EVERY time. She now does my mom's hair ,my sister occasionally, quite a few people up in Heber and about 7 of my friends hair. She is so reasonably priced that I would almost think she needs to charge more. I remember going to regis and places like that and it would cost me about 160 before tip and that is not including the dry and "style". Now i don't even come CLOSE to that number, quite amazing.

Our little Miley-

2010-03-11T20:23:00.000-08:00

So this is Miley. I am such a slacker this post is long over due because Andrew and I got her in January! We had NO intentions of getting a dog that day when we were out and about and stumbled across this little one and could not resist. We decided to let the nieces and nephews name her- some of the choices were lila, lilly, pixie, and now I can't remember the rest of them but we chose Miley and it fits her perfectly. She is a lot of fun though. I know there are alot of people who don't LIKE dogs, but WE do and we love both the two we have. Together they make up all of 4.5 pounds. Everywhere we go with them people want to stop and play with them because they are so small. Miley eats like a cow but since we got her has not grown one lick and she is supposedly not a teacup but we are still awaiting her to get bigger. We will be trying to have some puppies when Miley is old enough. So the babies for Andrew and I are still not in the mix, I know i teased a little about our "new addition" but those are yet to come still. For now we are just enjoying us and our little yorkies. this was her first time up the stairs,she was a little cautious

she is such a cuddler. She does not like to sleep anywhere but on your shoulder or your face or neck, you would think she was a parott

And she is even THAT little that she fits in mty cooking apron pocket, now you have to admit that it is cute...

A sad day for my mom continued... (graphic pictures)

2010-02-27T15:08:00.000-08:00

I am not going to comment on any of these photos, there is not too many words to describe them... here is the story. I called my mom and she was crying- this was the reason why. My mom comes from a family of smokers, her mom-my grandma- has emphysema and some other breathing problems where it is hard for her to even choke out a complete sentence. It is sad, but they choose to do what they do. my aunt just like my grandma has (had) breathing problems as well but continued to smoke. What came about was that in these pictures she started out on life support-the ones with the tubes of course. Here is my rememberance of what happened. When me and my mom entered the hospital I felt queasy, I hate death actually i hate seeing dead things. We were directed to the room where a "meeting" about my aunt was being held. I kid you not it was something out of a movie or some type of a tv show. the hospital staff was "expecting" us and they ushered us into a room full of people that i didn't know, doctors, nurses and family. As soon as i sat down they proceeded with the talk of nerve endings, brain dead, coma, and no brain activity. When we were about 6 hours from the hospital we were told that the results from the cat scan were negative for any brain activity-if that were the case they were going to pull the plug. Ugh! The doctor said that the life support was giving her 12 respiratory breaths per minute and she was doing between 5 and 6 on her own but that she had absolutely no brain activity, but SOMEWHERE in the very back lower part of her brain she was alive and it was working but that she would NEVER come to, recognize or move a single part of her body again. What do you say to that? I could do nothing but look at the floor because I literally was to throw up all over my boots. After all, the decision was made to pull the plug- the doctor said that every patient is different and it all depends on "their" will to survive on their own without the life support-forgive me when i say i am confused, but I think that life support means "LIFE" and not will support- anyhow, she continued to say that it could take as little as 20 minutes or even a few weeks. Since my mother or I had not seen her they took us into the room to see her before and while they were taking out all of her tubes... It was sad, what mad me the most sad was my grandmother. Me of being LDS faith I know and understand death and why it happens and i know that families are forever. My grandma just kept crying and crying (and I know it is sad) but she just didn't understand the reason for it and she kept telling us if she would have got there a little sooner then she would have been able to save her and that she would still be alive. My aunt was diagnose with severe emphysema but she did not tell anyone, she was taking abuterol treatments on a REGULAR basis, she could not survive without it, on top of that she had asthma. The morning went something like this. My aunt called my grandma to see if she would go pick up her abuterol medication from the store, grandma says yes and to let her know when the medication was done. Grandma never gets a call from aunt diane, she calls the pharm to see if it was picked up-negative...called a friend to see ifshe had gotten it for her-negative. Grandma goes over to aunt diane's (which is in walking distance) and knocks but gets no answer, bangs on the house with a rock, dogs were barking but no answer from Diane, she goes home, makes a few more phone calls and goes back over and calls the cops. they finally break a window and the cops help grandma into a window. Other problem was aunt diane's door was locked as well, as soon as they get the last door open they found her body. The paramedics worked on her for what seemed like hours grandma says until someone called out that they have a pulse... The rest of the story is what i already wrote. Watching my aunt die was horrible and it made me sad to have to see my family in such hurt, i wish i could have just made them understand death a little better and it would have been easier on all of them. The next few days were spent packing up stuff and listening to stories about the family that we don't get to see too often. I wish that everyone had the understanding of the gospel and what it does for our lives. i am truly grateful to have the gospel and know that I am part of an eternal family. i must say that the chaplain of this praticular hospital was VERY touchy and it creeped me out because the last thing i want to have happen while i am watching my aunt take her last breaths is to be touched by some unknown man, it was weird. I hope that the rest of my family in Oregon can find peace after everything that happened with my Aunt Diane. She will be missed.

Previously I blogged about my mom's sister dying... My mom took her vacation from work and we set off to Oregon, due to plane tickets being 450 each for spur of the moment we decided to drive... I have more pictures of my aunt that i will post right above this but they are a little graphic and I wanted to also blog about the rest of our trip. so here are the pictures:) enjoy. This is a REAL picture that i took... I think it looks fake, like something off of a post card, This is Mt. Shasta. It is SURREAL in real life, not sure if any of my blog readers have been there but it is such a pretty place. this was one of the perks of driving the way we drove.

What i DID love about Oregon is that you don't have to pump your own gas, yes the gas is a little more expensive, and it is ILLEGAL for you to do it yourself, but trust me it was COLD and it was nice to have it all done for you.

another reason why i LOVe oregon is because it has these HUGE trees all over the place. It reminds me of Christmas.

And buildings like this, the Prinville courthouse... we don't have any of those cool things in Arizona like this. Instead of water in their fountain out front, they had tree branches because the water would just freeze, it was cool.

This was somewhere in Bend actually, we drove by and saw it and had to turn around to take a picture.

A closer shot,

Andrews fav picture out of all the ones i took

This scared me-BAD! When we had to leave, we left in the middle of all the horrible storms, ALL the way from my house up to the shasta mountains it was pure DOWNPOUR! then from then on up to Bend it was snow... this picture was taken on the way home when it was REALLY bad, I could only go 25-30 for HOURS! It was a LONG ride home.

This was my aunt Dian'es house... the window that you see that has that boc spring by it was the window my grandma had to go through to get into the house. Sadly this house is not even as big as my upstairs loft, Pretty sad it took so long to get inside of it.

Aside from all the commotion going on, me and my mom found a little time to check out the town of Prineville, it had been 14 sum years since we had been there. This tree was free but you had to haul it away-problem was---? It was HUGE, but really nice.

This was an AMAZING mirror on sale in a botique, it was nearly 1000.00!

andrew says my grandma Leta looks like a movie star... agree?

mom and grandma

the courthouse again

So many thoughts...

2010-02-21T21:01:00.000-08:00

I have so many thoughts in my head right now and I can't explain ANY of them. I find myself being so flustered lately and want to just scream at the world. it is like everywhere we turn there is more negativity and more crap going on in the world... I founf out the other day that some of the kids i watch were given beer by an ADULT! Mind you the kids are 3, 5 and 7. I ALMOST did not beleive it and just blew it off but i could not take it. It always seems like when you are trying to get back on top of things you find out someone else is making off with something for nothing. It makes me feel like I try so hard to just be left in the dust by someone else who will lie, cheat, and steal to get ahead in life. It kinda makes me crazy and relly sad for those people at the same time. I know this all seems like I am ranting and raving but as i said... these are my thoughts that I cannot explain. I literally could not even fathom what this world would be like without the church, or where i would be had my family not moved up to Heber and went through everything we had went through. Every corner you turn anymore even in a store you are faced with border line porn, sins and temptations and down here I see a lot of parents who should not have kids- not that I am a person to say that anyone is not fit for having kids, but I am a firm beleiver that you watch your kids and you take care of them, raise them and instill respect and good behavior in them from the beginning. The other day I took my kids i watch to the park, me and a friend were there sitting and chatting when 2 boys rode up on bikes, one was black and the other was white. One said to me "What's up." So i replied back the same and then was nice and started talking to them, (they were probably 7-10). I asked the black boy where he lived...his reply/.//"Why?, are you going to tell on me?" I laughed and said well have you been bad? Anyway to make a long story short 2 more boys showed up and they proceeded to climb the ramada which is dangerous and also jump peoples fences to get into their backyards, I calmly went over and just gently asked the boys that if their parents were here would they be doing what they were doing and they all 4 answered no. about an hour later we went to the other park where the same boys were all but one of them and they all came up to me and started talking, the first little black boy who i saw at the first park asked me to clean the dirt off of him because if his mom found out that he was outside he would be grounded. I asked why and he said that he had been bad at school so he was grounded for the day and that he did not want to sit in his room so he snuck out the upstairs window... I could not beleive it.. I asked him what his mom was doing that she had no idea that he had snuck out and he told me she was downstairs on the computer... I was shocked, i did not understand what type of parent would ground their kid for beign bad in school and then they not make sure that the kid was not sneaking out of the house, I just thought of an oblivious parent-kinda like how i was raised to a point and I had no choice but to say a little prayer for this boy that he would find the church someday and make a good life for himself. I told him that he should go home before he got himself in more trouble and he said that he could not now because his dad was home and if he got caught his dad would take him into the closet where no one can hear him scream and beat him. I wanted to throw up and cry at the same time. This is the kind of stuff that I just don't understand. I don't know what it is like to have my own kids since I am not a parent, but i could not imagine bringing a child into this life and then BEATING it in a closet, or even ignoring it and being so oblivious that my child who is so young is sneaking out og the house-phew this post is long-good thing i don't have to go through and read it.
So anyway these are some of the thoughts in my head lately. i find myself watching all the forensic file shows when i find the time and I am having some crazy dreams lately- andrew is working so much that I feel sorry for him since he never finds the time to eat hardly anymore, all at the same time that I am so thankful that i have such a strong husband and that he works so hard to provide for us. I am starting a new job next week that I am pretty excited about, not about the job, just that i will be helping out more with the bills like i used to. Let me tell you it is HARD finding a good job anymore. I wish i would have stayed in college when i was single and life would be much easier right now i do beleive. since i got the job i will not be running in the ragnar race i was training and running for, i am bummed but i am happy that i can run a consistent 3 miles now before i feel like death instead of 2:) now i will just have to keep running and work towards a different goal. i am also doing HORRIBLY in the biggest loser. I thought I would be killing the competition but i find just shear laziness out of myself lately and I think it is because I don't have a job so i don't have to get up everyday and go outside and get ready and face reality! Ha as bad as that sounds it also feels nice to have a break. I have worked full time since i was 9! Now that i am 23 and i SHOULD have a job I almost feel like I am making up for some lost childhood time. On the flip side of that I know people and i have family who have alot of kids and would kill for just some time that i have so I need to be grateful for the time i have had by myself without a job. So there is not much more going on in the Crandell household besides what I posted a few days ago about the full house. i am going to go join my wonderful husband in bed now, it is 1030 and he has been asleep since like 9, he has to get up at 3... oh man he has crazy hours! until next time...

Silence

2010-02-20T12:14:00.000-08:00

It seems so very odd that lately i have had 4 dogs, 4 adults, and anywhere between 4 and 5 kids in my house, but now there is just me, well and my dogs. yes i said dogs. What i REALLY find funny is that from all the riff raff that me and Andrew get about having kids we are still putting that off but did find room and the time to take on another yorkie that we named miley. For the past month i have been doing child care and I know have 4 full time kids. It is a lot of fun, but then you add my roomate and she has a dog, then lately the kids have been having to spend the night, also my brother in law found a job down here so in the week he is here with us with his little puppy pit bull. It is CRAZY! but at the same time alot of fun. I have NEVER had a full house. Since me and Andrew got married it has only been the two of us and our little louie for some of the time. This past week mike brought Eighmey down, which mind you I have been practically BEGGING brandi to let me keep her for a weekend and I would take her to the zoo, but it does not work out. So this past week was fun! Monday I (and the rest of the phx area) took my niece to the zoo, i had a neighbor and her kids go with me. Me and Eighmey rode the camels, pet the stingrays and we even fed the giraffes. she has a fun time but did not last stayign awake in the car too long after that. For the rest of the week I just watched all the little kids and cooked and cleaned, and cleaned some more. My roomate is now telling me that ia m a compulsive cleaner, andrew agrees but says for all my cleaning i do the house is still a mess! Ha oh how can i please everyone? I can't... so for now I will sit all by myself on the couch with no tv and just listen to the SILENCE. :)

I need your help making a decision--

2010-02-16T19:48:00.001-08:00

Okay here is my dilema... I can't choose what bedding i want, here are some that i found that i like, i am doing my room black and white, i love paisleys but they are hard to find on bedding that is not 5000 from neiman marcus, and since i am not rich that is out of my budget:) So help me out, leave me a comment and tell me which one you are voting for- it's the war of the bedding! 12

5 i know this is not black and white but i liked it so much and since i have always wanted a green room this one would do the trick too

6 this one is pretty cool because it is reversible so i would get both of these patterns

our new addition

2010-02-02T12:23:00.001-08:00

Saturday we found out that we would be adding another member to our household... stay tuned for pictures.

a sad day for my mom

2010-01-20T14:12:00.001-08:00

Today my mom called me crying and choked out that her sister had died last night. It was so sad, then she says she could not understand her mom on the phone and apparently it turns out my aunt, my moms sister had some type of unknown thing happen last night and she is in a coma, non responsive and the doctors say she will not make it and she will live on life support. I feel so bad for my mom! since she lives in AZ and they are in Oregon she has not been able to be very close with her family. she is on her way down to my house now and we will leave for Oregon in the morning. It is so sad to lose a family member whether you are close or not and I could not imagine losing Brandi-my only sis. Keep my moms family in your prayers if you stumble across my blog, i know miracles can happen-Prayer works.

Katie and Kyle's Wedding 11.09

2010-01-19T13:42:00.000-08:00

My sister in law Katie got married back in November! I know I am so late but we are so happy for these two. Andrew and I were lucky enough to have Katie to hang out with us for a while after we got married and before she moved away;she was even able to go with us to Utah to see Kyle. I was also able to make a surprise road trip up to Provo and surprise Katie with her mom when she thought that her mom was not going to be able to make the trip alone. It was alot of fun. I can't believe of how such good friends me and Katie were in high school and ow we are family! All of the lunch trips and the state wrestling trip with her still hod alot of memories. We are so glad she found a great guy like kyle who was worthy and could take her through the temple and spend eternity with. Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Kartchner! (AKA-KKK) so cute.

a very big family and there are 2 families missing...

Only one missing is Caroline, she just had her baby so she was not able to make it up

These guys are too hilarious!

The Kartchner cake that Sarai made, it's BEAUTIFUL she made it despite all she had been through the past week-what a trooper)

Marcie and Leon doing up the hair: First it was too much "poof" so Katie says so she smalled it up a bit

I did her makeup, she looked so good. Since Katie is a natural pretty girl she didn't need much makeup, i did it too dark so we lightened it up a bit

an amazing trooper

2010-01-17T22:31:00.000-08:00

I'm sure most of you who read my blog read nie nie as well, she is such an amazing woman. I can't imagine going through what she has faced and still goes through every day-it will be with her for the rest of her life. Can you imagine almost dying? I know I can't, and i can't imagine my kids forgetting me. or being scared to come to me after such an event. I could only hope that my husband would be as compassionate and willing and understading as Mr. Nielson is to stephanie. Stephanie is her name. Mr. Nielson reads to her at night and it just makes me cry. I follow her blog for hours sometimes, re-reading what i have already read, looking at all the pictures. It's so crazy. I mean I think about it and she still has such a strong heart, a heart of steel! She is optimistic and she stays positive. She LOVES life, she knows what it is like to almost not have it. I just can't imagine. She is an inspiration to me, (even though i need to redo my face when im done reading:)) Knowing that there are REAL events that happen that can take your life so fast makes me take a step back and rethink what i have, what i want, where i need to go, and how I AM taking my life for grantid. It is almost sickening to me to think of the way i judge things and get upset and am not grateful for the things i have or want the things i don't have, WHEN I HAVE LIFE. It's almost too much to stomach. I'm getting a little way to carried away here, back to the subject... Stephanie, she is here in AZ and I'm going to see her tomorrow, I know she is in the hospital and it would be such a blessing to meet this woman and hear her testimony, if i am able... I know it sounds completely off the wall to waltz into a hospital and ask to see a woman i have only followed on a blog. Is that stalkerish? I hope not. To meet her would be a blessing. I will bring her something nice. I hope she is doing well, keep her in your prayers and thoughts, i know i will:)

Tell me, do you take the things in your life for grantid?

Andrews Coues Deer hunt 09

2010-01-17T20:45:00.001-08:00

Andrew shot his deer on December 22nd. He went out that morning very early with Daniel and Mike Hancock. Around noonish it was heavily snowing and it was really cold and they were not back yet so i knew it had to be one of 2 things...they were stuck or he had got his deer... He came back with this. He is just a bit bigger than the coues he shot 2 years ago. Andrew is sad that it will take a year to get him back, he is ready for him in our home NOW! Good job babe~

Daniel scoring him... 101!

Daniel and Andrew caping him out in the garage

Hello mr. eyeball...

Thanksgiving 2009

2010-01-16T13:39:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving in Heber (as usual) I did not take many pictures, we spent most of the picture time taking famiy pictures so me and my sis could finish my mom's christmas present which i will post later. Here are some of my favorite pictures. dinner was great (as usual) we started the day at my mom's then went to Andrew's parents after, most of the Crandell family was not able to make it up this year so it was just a small thanksgiving this year.

um... yeah, don't ask

Bugaboo

This is my favorite picture that i took out of all the HUNDREDS! my mom, their grandma. I just still can't believe she has this many and yet brandi is having another one,and andrew and I have not even begun!

Our family is dysfunkshional...ha can you tell...

I absolutely love this man with every ounce of my being! We didnt really do much for Thanksgiving as far as taking pictures of us at dinner, just took the family pictures mainly.

WARNING: Time to play catch up: WARNING

2010-01-16T13:37:00.000-08:00

I just want to send the warning that there willo be post OVERLOAD! keep going when you think you are done... :) sorry it's been so long. I'm sitting on the couch with andrew and he does not want me to blog, he tells me to let my blog go into foreclosure! haha, he is so funny.

The last of the lazy days-transformation time

2010-01-15T20:26:00.001-08:00

Well... I may as well join the world of running since everyone else is doing it... although to be quite honest it hurts! Ugh... Alright i am doing the ragnar at the end of February with most of my in law fam, I signed up MONTHS ago, but i am just starting to consistently run... I know i know, procrastination is TERRIBLE! I wish i were better. Well Dixie... this awesome trainer woman whom i am only getting to know, she is Jens sister in law, well she put together a running schedule for me that is really working out for me. when i first started running with my sister in law amy, i was doing 2 miles but it was not a continuous run, i physically thought my chest was going to pop, now i am easing into the 2 miles. Leon is the captain of the team and he names us the trail trotters... can i rename myself the SNAIL TROTTER? haha! Well i just did.. thats me the snail trotter of the trail trotters. I will be honest for a second I am TERRIFIED of running at some points in theis ragnar... the most one i am scared of is running at night, Jennie said it was her funnest run but i dont like me being alone in the dark in a weird place! What if a yote comes to take a bite of my leg! i'm not a seasoned runner yet so i would not be able to out run it... then my other worst fear is because since i dont have a job now (thanks!) I have been watching forensic files, and all these people just come up missing then found later... DEAD! phew, that is scary to me... i will say a prayer that i wont come up missing, OR yote meat.
One last addition, on top of doing the running, Dixie is HOSTING a biggest loser competition. It's going to be awesome... but also very very humiliating. there will be pictures of my not so hot anymore body and my weight! Time to take off the covers... I am just at that point where i never thought i would be, or ever wanted to be of course, I need and want my healthier lifestyle back, to get rid of the tv and the cheese crisps that my husband loves. The comfort food, the soda...although i already gave that up, and the boredom eating. Although my family genes are not as small as Andrew, they are not obese or big by any means so there is absolutely NO EXCUSE. I have made a deal with the devil and I decided to do the bigest loser along the way, since it is my favorite show:) Even if i don't win the biggest loser, i will still win since i will be more healthier. I will post my feelings on this later, there is much more but i know how boring blogs are with WAY too much words and not enough pictures. Want to know the sad part? The laptop is downstairs where i dont do pictures on and i have not wanted to step foot int he office which is located upstairs to blog which i need to catch up on since NOVEMBER! wow... I guess i need a vitamin b shot! haha, well goodnight. Tomorrow is the first day of my TRANSFORMATION!

I have been so lazy

2010-01-09T20:53:00.001-08:00

Let me explain... since November 18Th, my life has been like one big crazy bad dream that i can't wake up from. what happened that day you ask? Or maybe you don't ask, but i will tell.... Our dishwasher i found out had a slow leak in it that had been slowly damaging THOUSANDS of dollars worth of cabinets, walls and floors in our kitchen in our new home that we bought in august. Let me just tell you that it has been insane trying to get it put back together the way it was before. I can not even imagine how i would have done it had i of been a mother and needed to feed children 3 or 4 times a day. My loving wonderful husband has been so good and patient with me as i rant and rave about all the bad doings and not even thinking about the good. All this going on right as i give up on my race day training commitment. I'm horrible! I have to run in the Ragnar in a month and a half! up to 6 miles i could get at one time and i think i could do one and then die right now. Luckily i got some help starting Monday its training! I'm kinda happy i don't have a job so i can focus on this a do it! finish it. I cant wait, not only do i need to do it for myself but others are counting on me to. The Trail Trotters... I am pretty sure i will need to do more than trot:) Well i need to post about thanksgiving, Christmas, Andrews hunt and even Katie and kyles wedding...that's how far back i am. Geez! now that i don't have a job i cant even tell you what day of the week it is! i need something to pass the time, a SERIOUS hobby or something fierce, anyone got any suggestions?

once there was a slacker, slacker, slacker...

2009-12-25T10:23:00.001-08:00

Yep, thats me, not a snowman! A slacker. I'm in Heber for a while, will update after christmas!

Do you ever feel...

2009-12-04T13:24:00.000-08:00

like you can't tell someone how you truly feel? because if you did it would practically set off a bomb? Or do you know people who are like walking time bombs themselves and you must walk on eggshells to not set them off? I do... for so long I was always the girl to tell you how she feels and not let anyone tell her otherwise, Always the one known for not letting anyone convince her any other direction then the one she was heading... well one day i woke up and i think i met my match. Well guess what...that person met their match as well....
Note to yall.....
Don't let anyone tear you down for no good reason, keep your head held high, especially when someone passes judgment on you when they have not the slightest idea what they are saying, not knowing your situation, what happened, what has happened, and how far you have come to get over the past. It is disgusting to think that for some reason the world thinks its okay to put their business where it does not belong or to put their nose into business that it does not belong...SOMETIMES those people put a hardship on others, but they don't ever know it... why? Because they are unhappy with themselves and they can't admit that they did something wrong, or that they are completely jealous of this person that they just cover it up with hatred for the person before they even know them.. but there is good in this world still... there are those who really take what we believe being LDS and apply it in their lives, they give people chances and first impression through word of mouth Also known as gossip- is thrown out and they turn away from the one who is so my old math teacher used to say, spewing diarrhea from the mouth- yep... that's how i feel today. I feel great! How about you?