I can't even put into words how i feel today. It's pretty amazing though. This year me and Andrew decided not to slack on anything or take anything for grantid... example.. Church and all the fine blessings that come with it. These are our thoughts wel just a few... church is mostly habit and i i dont mean that in a bad thing. once you get out of the habit of going you find it easier to find xcuses to not go or to work on sunday or to just find other ways to justify breaking the sabbath... once you get behind on your tithing its too hard to catch back up.... okay i will stop there because i am ruining my mood... Andrew and I just wanted to give 100% again. We saw the spots where we became laxed, working on the sabbath because we "had" to and watching a rated r movie just because it looks REALLY good. We would never just drink a beer because it smells really good would we? Of course not so why cut corners else where... I had this happen to me at work last year. wells fargo sent out reimbursement checks to people who had their mortgage there because taxes went down... I had 2 testifying moments and the people had no idea i was a member of the church... one guy got a check for 900 ISH- i asked him if the check came to his surprise and he said yes! He said you have no idea how thankful i am for it because my wife almost divorced me! He said that earlier that week he had felt the need to donate 900 dolalrs to a charity and when he told his wife she was really upset... who has 900 to just "donate" in these times? i felt so bad for him... but then he said I am just so thankful for this blessing, I know it is all because i pay my tithing to the lord. It killed me because i knew i had not paid my tithing fully in 2010. second scenario a woman came in and had a check from the same situation... she said that if this check did not come she had no idea how she was going to pay her 1600 dollar mortgage... she has 6 kids and her husband is out of work:( again it showed the blessings we get when we pay our tithing! last thing that also happened was a woman came in to make a deposit.. I asked her what account because she was showing2 on the system, she said i only have one... i told her she had 1 active and one in pending close state but she knew nothing of it... her husband was supposed to close it back in july but he left the money in there... she banked 800 dllars that day and she cried to me! she was so thankful and i t just lit my heart up. I cannot express hwo thankful i am for what i have and being able to pay tithing. I have paid this year, yes i know we are only 20 days in but today andrew and i were blessed TWICE! just from paying our tithing and it makes me feel amazing. It is sad that members like me choose to not hold tight to that rod. We are all human so we make mistakes. I am so thankful for our ward out here and how accepting and loving they have been and are! We truly were supposed to make our home out here in maricopa! I feel like i am becoming a woman! as cliche as that sounds i have always been "waiting" for that time when i would start looking at myself as an adult and i think that being apart of a steady ward with a calling and Andrew and I starting on our path to being parents (no not yet) is making me look at myself in a new light. My husband truly amazed me today too. This guy he works with is going down a bad path and he said somethin to the affect to andrew about if andrew had a lot of money there is no way andrew woudl turn down cheating on me with a hot bankging blonde and that all marriages are based on money and there is no TRUE love.... Andrew told him his feelings and in a way testified to this guy of what he believes and if you know ANdrew you know at all costs he would pretty much avoid a debate ESPECIALLY to that magnitude... but he didn't. i dont know where that ramble was going but i know that since our church attendance and involvement has been steady and consistent the blessings and our feelings have changed so much. I am truly grateful for this. For the sacrifices that were made so i cn repent for these dumb little mistakes i make every day! It is so amazing to have the restored chirch on the earth today to guide my family!