Christmas 2011

I also forgot to mention christmas.... As mostly everyone knows Andrew and I are expecting out first son next year. We decided to get one gift for each other and anything else would be for Brighton.... I just wanted to brag that Andrew surprised me with a pair of diamnod earrings... Yp thats right... DIAMOND!... If you know anything how andrew picks his diamonds he is about quality over quantity... He got the clearest and best cut diamond the store had in diamond studs. He spoils me... :) I just love him... although i am not big on jewelry period, I really really love my new earrings and i could even get used to getting jewelry for gifts from time to time:)
On another note... he got bullets, a whiteail hunting monopoly game that the only part he is interested in is the game piece that is shaped like a shed... and he swears he will never play it.... the most ADORABLE little sleeper for Brighton with evergreen trees on it and a moose and a game cam that he is been asking for for years! Christmas this year was more focused on the actual meaning of christmas, which usually for us it is. I sometimes get masked with the whole thought of what am i going to get everyone and wonder if i dont get a friend or family member something individually if they are going to care... then i let that go. Having a child in my belly makes me think of things differently. although i would never want to dissapoint Brighton, at some point it is gonna happen. I want him to always know the true meaning of christmas, and not gifts. I want him to be so excited to open up his pajamas every year from grandma crandell, (its their tradition) My mom is more of the spoiler so you never know what it will be like with her:) Anyhow... I figured i would print this blog before Brighton comes and start a new one then, I did not add this up top because i jumped to the diamonds before anything, but one of the funniest parts of this whole christmas present was that all i really asked andrew for this year was an electric toothbrush:) haha, oh Andrew, how i love you.

Is it january first yet!

After a long frustrated conversation and a whole day of waiting for the doctor to come in to see what they are going to do for me... he never does... Great! So i heard nothing from the doctor back yesterday after the urologist, just the wrong information... Today i woke up to the doctor talking to me... he said here is my option, or options.... I have to wait to talk to my doctor about them enducing if the pain does not subside because the pain IS caused by the pregnancy, or at least the uterus anyway... Of course i understand that there is more blood flow and everything is kinda squished... that is the way it should be... but the pain should not be untollerable where i feel like a mad woman thrashing around unable to even breathe! Come on, really! uhh,.... I feel like crying but i have no tears and besides i just got out of the shower and redid my mascara.... I am not letting them give me anymore morphine, i dont want a drug baby, also they started to just put me on one pill of lortab and it takes the pain off enough that i can bare it. So now i am waiting for the urologist to come decide if they will do this nephrostomy tube thing where they will put a big needle into my right kidney to drain the stuff, whatever it is because in this hospital it seems i just cant get a straight answer... they keep assuring me the baby is okay but i am not getting answers! they dont just keep someone in the hospital for 3 days and not tell them whats going on right????? Its about 3 pm now, i am so ready to go home. I have had so many mixed emotions! At one point i thought i would meet Brighton, at others i thought i was harming him, and now its just down to frustration and anxiety to leave and go home. I miss my dogs and Andrew and I even miss cleaning. Here i have nothing to do but update this blog that i hardley ever look at anymore and make multiple budgets to see which method will work best coming into the new year. How fun:) On the good side If i was growing anymore of a bubble butt i have flattened it out:)


Not the real deal cont. Warning! this post is long!!!!!

The morning of my birthday I woke up and showered, Andrew googled the symptoms of a gall bladder attack and this is all what i felt to the T. We went to have lunch at subway where i had a half of a 6 inch just about with nothing on it but turkey and lettuce... If it was my gall bladder there will be no more grease for me for my lifetime, i NEVER want to feel those pains again. In the short period of leaving the house and having a small lunch the pain came back. Even after a short nap at home it was worse and i told Andrew i needed to go back to the hospital...., one small thing i forgot to mention... the day before when the nurse told me she thought it was my gall bladder.... she did not order any test for my gall bladder... she said they would send me to the ER if it was not baby related, but they never did, instead they discharged me.... Anyhow, i called my doc in copa to get a follow up apt and they scheduled it for Jan 3rd! Wow, on top of me literally and physically i swear on anything and everything holy i could not deal with the pain for another hour, let alone days! January 3rd is the biggest day of my life at the Bank! There is no way i was getting off to go for a follow up apt.! I drove to the Dr there in copa and she said to go back to the hospital! I can't believe i am on my way back. Andrew thinks i am super woman and pain is nothing for me so he told me to try and stick it out, we went home and i laid down. When i woke up I was in pain, AGAIN! sadly he was putting together the crib and I hated to interrupt him but i just knew something was not right and i needed to go back to the hospital. I made the phone call and talked to the nurse who helped me yesterday who said she thought it was my Gall bladder... she adv to come back to labor and delivery to again rule out problems with baby, then they will take me to the ER... as soon as i got here again i was begging for the drugs! It is so sad because i know what i get in my body Brighton also gets in his and I hate knowing that my little tiny baby is on anything drug related! If i tell the story you will be here reading all night... so this is how it goes....

Wheeled over to ER and asked random questions, no medicine,no room to put me in, out in the open in front of everyone. got blood drawn AGAIN! took a pee test again....they finally took me to this room that i shared with 2 other people and i was in a "recliner" chair that was beyond all discomfort. The plan was to go for an ultrasound on my gall bladder and kidneys.... I had a pretty cute nurse who gave me an iv in my left hand... it hurt just a pinch and Andrew almost passed out... :) Shortly after they took me back I went to do that, about 30 minutes... she was really really nice who did my sonogram and she even gave me a picture of little Brighton to satisfy my once more needing approval that he has a penis:) from there we waited and waited. The highly strung doctor came in very nice and very fast and told me that the gall bladder looks good, and so does my kidneys..... hmmmmm so what else could it be??? Well we have to do a full cat scan to rule out appendicitis now.... oh great i thought... then i asked the questions like so if i do and it has to be operated on, does Brighton come out? Can he stay in during a procedure like that where i am knocked out? I was told he could be taken out or left in.... now i am getting a little scared.... My cute nurse came in again and told me i had to have ANOTHER IV, this one had to be past my wrist so they could inject something into me.... i am so dehydrated though that there are like zero veins that are being accommodating.... he finds one in my right elbow area and again, Andrew watched it and felt pretty queasy.....:)okay so like 2 hours later the guy came in for the CT scan. i could not understand his accent but he said something about me being pregnant and full term and OK? ahhhhh sure i said. I drank the awful solution and went into the machine, i have no idea why they call it a can scan machine. it should be called the spinning donut:) He said i would fee warm and pee when i was in there... I was thinking WHAT! my clothes are on....his language barrier was hard to understand... when i tasted the metal and felt like i had to pee and my body went hot i understood..... okay that's over and its back to the room.... I had not gotten any medicine in a while and i was uncomfortable beyond belief. I asked if they had a pillow and the response was a no, so i then asked if they had a bed and i was told the beds are only for those who "need" them. Like the man pulling down his pants in the hallway yelling help me help me hurry up hurry up, I'm bleeding... although he was not, he had dementia.... Okay i get it i said and laid down and trued to not think of the pain, or the weird people who keep coming in and out of the what i then thought was a mental hospital.

It was getting late... this was my birthday and at 7 we had planned dinner with some people, Andrew started to call and cancel for me, however bishop and his wife were already in town so they came over and Andrew was able to give me a blessing. It was nice and i felt so grateful in that moment that my husband is a priesthood holder. the rest of the night was a bunch of crap if you ask me... they took forever to give me more medicine, i was miserable and i think i got like 4 different diagnosis.....
the gall bladder was okay.....
the tube from my kidney to my bladder is collapsed and i will need to a stint in it to get it open
the tube is enlarged and it is creating build up which is what the pain is from
I have multiple kidney stones in the ureter which is causing the backup and inflammation and I would have to wait until the morning... mind you its only like 6 right now.... for the Urologist to look at it to see exactly where we go from there....

So now i am admitted, they tell me room 379 third floor. My sister and her family drove down from buckeye because she had a birthday gift for me and just wanted to say hi... my mom was waiting out in the lobby as well as Natalie and Logan who has just brought Andrew dinner:) It took about an hour to tell me the room was wrong and since i just so happened to be 35 weeks pregnant then i should be in the OB section.... makes sense i would think... finally at like 10:30 I go to my room where there is a bed and i literally have 5 pillows! I had not eaten anything in 12 hours and hardly been able to drink. My mom brought me fruit and crackers and all the water and ice in the world. since i had "kidney stones" my plan was to stay here overnight and be treated for the pain and to hydrate like crazy and pee into this strainer thing to see if they will pass..... I was also told the urologist comes in early in the morning and she would come evaluate and then we will go from there.... oh and yes at this point it was not my appendix... so at least that is good but my frustration is creeping up because the day before they sent me home after doing an ultrasound of the kidneys and stating they were fine..... AHHHHHH!!!!!

I tell Andrew to go home since he works in the morning, i took some medicine and went off to sleep......

Come the next morning 12/30/2011-
The urologist did nothing about making her rounds early.... in fact Andrew got here around 11 i think and she was not here until like 2 or something, cant remember too well... she said something about no kidney stones... if i do they are like tiny and also that the tube is NOT collapsed????? wtheck! So what is going on.... from what i gathered in pregnancy your uterus can be enlarged in certain areas which cause problems in others... well duh!!! she said something about a worked with brachial i think... sorry i am on medicine... she said she would talk to the Dr and then he would follow up with me..... errrrrrr... WRONG! it right now is 3 almost 30 am and I NEVER saw the doctor on call that day again. The nurse came in and said she was gonna give me iron and a constipation pill, why i had no idea... she said to take them and then the Dr will make his rounds early in the morning... well i have heard that one before.... Natalie and Logan came to say hi and were off to find a dog to add to their family so i made Andrew go with them since he was going crazy here.... I watched a whole movie and started getting frustrating about being in the dark about what the heck is even going on. I called the nurse in and she listened, she assured me she would talk to the Dr..... hours later after Andrew got back, the nurse came back in and said she talked to the Dr... apparently the urologist said she offered me and Andrew something today that would drain the excess fluid that is causing the pain... WHATTTTT!!! I had to look to Andrew because i do forget a lot but I am positive she TOLD us that was probably not needed! is this woman crazy? or just a liar! I was so mad! I then asked the nurse why i am taking iron and constipation pills and she said because the urologist said i was constipated! No no no no no... I literally wanted to scream. Was this woman just not listening when she was in here or did she mix up my notes with the person next door... ughhh... I could just cry! Now there is nothing to do but to fire that urologist and request another one that wont be able to happen until the am and the doctor wont even come talk to me anyway until the morning... so here i Am... I literally have the world most awful pain and 10 different reasons why but no one knows how to fix it or what the real problem is.... frustrating is all i can say. I should go to bed. I can update in the morning... I am hoping and praying that the new urologist will be able to shed some light because this has been crazy! just crazy. I am worried about work, like sick to my stomach. I have a huge month coming up and am not 100% prepared for it. Andrew tells me to relax and worry about the baby because he is most important which i know, but a big part of my life is my job and I hate to feel like i am not fulfilling it completely... I better go to bed and stop worrying myself sick! goodnight

Is this the Real deal????

Monday... the day after Christmas was amazing... this was the 26th. Thank bank was closed so I had the day to do as i pleased. I went Christmas shopping with Natalie and bought what i felt a life time supply of wrapping paper would consist of, some tissue paper, and a few random Christmas decorations for next year.... (yes I'm kinda cheap) This was the day Natalie told me there would be no more eating out, that she needs to be strong and I need to do the same! oh man... shopping with a girlfriend is just not the same unless you spend lunch together too! boo... well anyway.... We went to 3 stores and were done and mozzied on back to the copa town where i proceeded to make sure all of my bills were paid and the house was clean and I even started to organize Brighton's room. I felt great. I was a little nervous about me falling 2 days before and i was often stopping to feel him move, or feel for contractions and even watch for blood... but nothing! Yes. I was okay. The next day i went back to work and working hard! my day is filled with a bunch of last minutes things to wrap up and setting new appointments for the new year~ My next step at wells Fargo is to go into management so i am trying my best to utilize my time wisely and to the fullest..... Well Wednesday around 1230 ish my stomach started to hurt...over the coarse of about 25 minutes it hurt so bad i said something to my manager. It was hurting to bad and since it was time for my lunch i figured i would go home and try to lay down to see if the pain would subside...
In the mean time i told Andrew how i was feeling so he was checking in with me. I was for certain i was in labor. I tried to time the "contractions: but they were CONSTANT and the pain increased literally every minute. I had work to do at with with a loan signing so i sucked it up and went back and gave it to my manager, told her i could not stay and called for a ride to the hospital. I moaned and groaned all the way while Natalie drove me to the hospital. I cried and screamed... yes i was a mad woman!~ and this is coming from the woman who said she would not get an epidural... well that choice may have changed now:)
I got to the hospital and they immediately put me into a bed, checked me and said no i was not in labor.... What???? then what in the heck is this pain from... I BEGGED from some drugs to take the pain off even just a little. they told me no, they had to make sure the baby was okay. Okay okay okay... Andrew my ma and Natalie were there I had finally had my medicine and quite a few tests later and they say that they cant find anything, but.... the nurse tells me she thinks its my gall bladder..... After the morphine i was given i could function and the Dr said since i was feeling better i could go home...... even though i had no clarification i was told there was nothing they could do since i was pregnant and i was to just go home..... okay... goodbye... as soon as i sat down outside while Andrew got the car i threw up and the pain slowly started to creep back. I met my mom and she gave me Tylenol PM and sometime between the drive home i was back to sleep. I slept that night on the couch with a heating pad doped up on Tylenol pm. Andrew laid next to me in the love seat. As much as i told him to go upstairs and go to sleep because that chair is miserable to sleep in, he refused until i went with him. I had declined a blessing earlier that night from bishop because i did not want to be a bother, but i was regretting my decision. I was certain that i would wake the the next day... the 29th... my 25th birthday and be just fine and attend my birthday dinner celebration we had planned with family and a few close friends. I was certain of it.

Merry Christmas!

Andrew and I had a great Christmas this year! Despite my "early" labor I was cleared by my doctor to go to Heber for the day for Christmas... It may have been a bad day because i fell! right on my left side... oops... It really does hurt when that happens, but i am pretty sure I am okay.... I had a great baby shower on SAturday the 17th. Most of all my sister in laws came, my mom and sister and some close friends. I was so spoiled! I got almost everything i needed. Andrew and I only have a few things left on the list to get! Thank you again for all of those who came and celebrated with me.... Saturday night after the commotion calmed down we watched a movie with a few friends and my back started hurting.... it kept over until Sunday where i told andrew I had to leave early. My stomach would contract and my back would hurt and my legs would even go numb! It was crazy. That lasted throughout that sunday but it was not constant I went to bed with the intention of if i dont feel better in the morning i will call my dr.... needless to say i felt and slept awfully so i called Dr matthews in the morning and she sent me to the ER. I was having pretty consistant contractions but nothing else had porgressed so they gave me a shot... not one but 2 shots of tributeleen???? I dont know how to spell or say it really, but i think that is close enough. After a few hours it stopped my contractions and i was put on bed rest for 2 weeks and sent home.... WHAT!!!!! 2 weeks... there is no way i can do that... upon following up with my dr, she said i could go back on thursday and work for 2 hours then break for 30 laying down then work another 2.... that does not work too well at a bank.....but i did the best i could.

This is such a long post,... i know i am sorry! So here it was December 22 or 23rd and I feel like an obese person who cant breathe! Everything is fine with the little Brighton but they did not let him come because at that time i was 35 weeks and he only weighed 4.5 pounds! I just wish no more early labor signs with this pregnancy, i want the real deal~ :)


The time is flying by

I can still remember when I peed on the stick and it said positive... I was like 4 weeks and I remember thinking oh my gosh am i ever going to get past the first trimester so im in the "safe" zone, then it moved from there to the 20 week when i can find out if it was for sure a Brighton Jay:) after that it was the anticipation of the baby shower and watching my belly grow and now, its the hospital visits:) I am truly loving being pregnant and evn my "i look fat" attitude has gone away, there is plenty of time to lose it after you have him:) Sunday was a normal day for the most part but i was truly hurting and uncomfortable for the first time in my pregnancy. I figured it was because my shower that the day before and i was busy busy busy cleaning and such. Sunday i told Andrew we had to leave church because i could not sit still, my back was on fire. then that night sleeping was torture, i swear i woke up like every hour...I thought to myself monday morning would come and if i still felt bad i would call the doctor and see if she could excuse me from work that day... I was wrong! They sent me into labor and delivery or the triage part of it anyway where i was monitored and checked and all that fun stuff. My contractions were pretty steady, Brightons heartrate was racing up and then dropping down which was scaring me a little but they said it was fine... then they checked me and found i was already dialated to a one! Holy cow i am thinking in my head as she tells me she has to call the Dr.--- Andrew was not even there! what is gonna happen if i have this baby! haha it was pretty funny. They gave me a shot in the back of the arm! OUCH! to stop the contractions, which did not so i got poked again, hours later i was on my way home with a note to be on bed rest for 2 weeks!

This is crazy i am thinking... January is the biggest month of the year and if i want to be promoted to management then i HAVE to have good production... I am a little worried about all that to be honest. I have a follow up apt today with my actual doctor to see if she will let me return to work, if not anything at least for half a day:) But as for now, this baby is staying in for another 4 weeks if i can help it!


34 weeks

isn't that belly just so cute! I like to touch it:)

5 weeks left, or 7...

That seems so long right! The dr says my due date has changed, i dont know why they "change" it this far along but i am thinking that they are thinking i am one of those women that will be so exicted to get this little one out of me at 38 weeks. WRONG! I have a birth plan. It is a bit insane, but i am not getting an epidural-yes i am going natural and to the very best of my ability i will stick to that plan. I want to know and feel what is going on and I am a firm believer that heavenly father made my body just as all the other women to go into the labor process when the baby and my body are good and ready for it. I know some mothers have already told me i am crazy and you dont know what you are talking about and you will change your mind this is your first blah blah blah. The good thing about all births being different is that this one is mine:) So i can make whatever choices make me happy. To know that, is the best. I hear the most horror stories at the dr office though, about how i will be in labor for days and it is just so bad and i should just get the shot and get it over with. whatev.,.... so i am saying i have 7 weeks and i am not paying too much attention to the "new" due date. Things here in December in the Crandell home are CRAZY! Lj, andres brother is soon moving out, he has been staying here throughout the week then going back to see his family in heber. This is going to free up my what was then an office that i will be turning into my nursery! I am excited to start Brighton's nursery. I already ave all the stuff and the decor, i just need to put it all together! Work is crazy because its the month before the beginning of the year, its like 2 straight months of non stop work, i kinda feel like my aunt kathy who is a CPA and its tax time... not fun!

On a different note... I am working my way up in the company and am going for management! I know the timing is way wrong, but me and Andrew have devised a plan to where i can still work and he can go to school- small sacrifice for a few to allow me to be a stay at home mom in a few years when i am positive we will be expecting another little baby into our lives! It was a little bit of a harrd and sad decision on my part. I had made the decision to just stay home with Brighton but on the flip side at least he will have a stay at home figure, it will just be daddy:)

It seems everything else is working out so far. I know i have yet to post a picture, which i should just go do right now... okay i will after i finish my blabbing. I have gained 15 pounds, with 5-7 ish weeks to go i am extremely happy with that number. I don't waddle and I still fit into my work suits (I just cant button the bottom button). I got a comment today from a random man that pregnancy looks good one me:) It made my day. I really am enjoying being pregnant! I wont lie i like the attention it brings to my baby bump a little too:) My favorite time is when andrew is engaged with my belly though. I cant wait to see how he will be with Brighton. I know i will just fall even more in love with him once i see him in action as a dad.

I think i am done for now. I will go and take that picture. :)

I feel... normal

It is official I have technically 8 weeks to go, IF my due date does not change... they moved it but it is subject to change. I am not holding my breath. I am banking on 8 weeks from now to get all my other little ducks in a row before Brighton come, but i am am getting super super really excited. When he moves in my belly now he kinda makes me feel like i need to throw up and at times it stops me in whatever activity it is that i am doing at that moment. I feel like I always think in "mom" mode now and when i see mothers doing certain stupid things i always make a mental note of what not to do:) I truly am blessed to be able to carry this child. I never understood the feelings you feel for the little one in your belly even vicariously through a good friend, but once you do it changes your whole world. It is such a blessing and i wont lie to say that i am kinda sad that andrew will never be able to feel what i feel. It is simply amazing. At this point in my pregnancy i love it and I feel great! I have zero cravings, my feet dont hurt and yes i can still wear my heels to work:) The only thing i did not like was the sickness in the beginning that lasted for 2 whole months but that is nothing compared to what i get to look forward to- a life with this lovely little guy i have been baking! I have so many feelings but the rest of them i just cant describe. I had a friend tell me today that she basically raises her kids by herself and it made me sad. On top of being a great husband, Andrew is so excited for Brighton to come. He can't wait he says to just hang out with him and he says he is actually looking forward to getting up with him in the night! we will see how long that lasts though:) I am just a lucky lucky girl. I have an amazing family, truly and its growing! I cant wait for these next 8 weeks, although i am very very busy at work for those 8 weeks I have set aside enough time to finish his room and have me a baby shower to prepare for him. I cant wait to meet you Brighton! come soon... but not too soon:) and... i just realized i have not posted ANY pics of me pregnant! I guess i will get one up there!