Its a boy and a girl! only i am kidding.

okay so please excuse that these first two pictures are of girls room because it is NOT a girl! We are having a boy!!!! Andrew FINALLY made it home after 8 days of hunting in loah utah and we went on a date and found out that this little peanut is a boy! We have already named him as well. Brighton Jay Crandell. We are so excited to find out what it is. He will for sure be Andrew's little hunting buddy. I always wanted a boy first and i am exciting that is what we are getting first.... so to explain this picture... I love the wall and i think i will incorporate this into brightons room.... same with the 2nd picture, I just really love the walls on both.... moving on to the others... I have been looking at both boy and girl and the boys ones are some i saved to mesh some ideas together. I am already wanting to start his room since i want to do so much! Brighton is going to making his way into this world in about 5 months and i want to be very prepared for his arrival!

the name on the wall is just adorable

i dont like polka dots for boys so that is out, i do love the paisley though and i will not do a brown and plain color combo, cliche.

okay on this one i onlu like th wall.... nothing else, but then it seems just too much to put his name all over the wall... possible overload

i LITERALLY love these colors together, however brighton's crib is not this dark, still could make it work. I love the owls AND the willow deer..... decisions decisions

these colors are boring but i do like the painting patch work.... no rocking horse though.... creepy


Thankful for friends

I can't express today how blessed i am for the friends i have in my life. They would do anything for me, ANYTHING! at one low point in my life i had an abundance of friends, some who were only my friend for the "fame" some who were only there because i was the type of friend you could take advantage from, some for good reasons and then some because i was falling away from everything i knew to be true and they wanted to make sure i continued to be saved from the mormons. To be honest i never imagined in my life that i would ever be mormon. I came from this chaotic upbringing, i roamed the streets until 2 am and i never had any type of structure. I was a loose cannon. I was known as one of the starkes kids to the "dad that bombed the mormon church" ( not true by the way). I guess when i had THAT abundance of friends i never really felt worthy of pure, real friendship. From day to day things would change and gossip would be thrown around just to stabbed in the back or find out that your best friend is having a baby with your boyfriend... really? is this what is friendship? All these thoughts came to me yesterday as one of my friends was driving me to the hospital and STAYED with me until around 4am then to take me home and make sure i got into my house safely.... my thoughts are always random so my apologies. To get back to the point or points at this stage in my life... 3 years 4 months marries, 18 weeks pregnant, owning a home and married to the best man i could have ever had my prayers answered for... I wonder how i got here and just know how TRULY i am blessed and that i would not be here had i not decided to get order in my life, get rid of all the old (BAD) abundance of friends, or have you and come back to what i KNOW to be True, and the truth is heavenly father showed me the true church here on earth. It teaches me daily how to be an example of christ, it teaches me to forgive myself for the choices i made in my life and to forgive others. In my calling at church, the sunbeams teach me something every week and it is always most touching on the days where i feel like i dont have the power to get up and go to church for 3 hours. It teaches me to accept everyone, every walk of life, color race origin, etc and to not judge. I can go on an on, but i will restrain. It seems that i have gotten rid of my close minded mentality I have FRIENDS, true 100% selfless friends who accept me for who i am and what i do and what i look like, and me to them. It's a peaceful feeling to me today that i feel. If i had blank cards i would write all my friends a card just to tell them i love them all... maybe i will do just that. My friends, not all who are members of the church, are inspiring and uplifting to me everyday. I love them all so dearly and am excited to have each one of them in my life. Especially thanks to natalie who put up with me all night and all morning! It means so much to me.


I know what this little baby is....

I just went to the ultrasound and they determined what the sex of the baby is! yay!, 14 extremely long weeks of waiting!.... just to put it into an envelope to open up once husband returns from utah.... it is going to be a long 3 days.... Friday please hurry.


no pictures

lately me and Andrew have done so much! Its ridiculous always what we are doing. I fell like we are never ever home but even thought i have this amazing camera i never bring it and take pictures.. how awful am i... I have turned into one of thos boring people who just type everything. I love pictures too.... I need to get a life and bring my camera more! this next month there is so much going on... 2 weddings, disneyland, vacation!!!! oh man i cant wait... and i actually get to go to heber for the crandell famiy reunion and i can't wait!!!! I will bring my camera for sure!

a post so long past due...

It always takes me forever to post anything. My brother Brian asked me the other day if my pregnancy is still a for sure thing:) haha... In fact it is. It's so insane how time is flying. I find out tomorrow what it is...well actually i will find out Friday because thats when Andrew gets back form Utah. Since he is on vacation he went on a hunting trip with daniel and a few other guys from Heber. Since we had already planned the ultrasound we decided he should still go and i will still go but the doctor will put the info into an envelope and we will open it up on our date friday night once he gets home. I can't wait... Yesterday in church i had the funniest thing happen... I teach sunbeams and they are so much fun but they always say the darndest things. My favorite girl in the class tells me its time for the baby to jump up and down (thats how we get their energy out:)) and then i told her i dont think the baby wants to jump. She then insisted SHE did and that she could see her head and her hands and that her name is Sara.... Freaky right! I was telling the story to my sis today on the phone and she was saying how wierd it would be to actually have all that true just in the premortal!!! ahhh, well it was a little revelation form a sweet girl, we will see if she is right... on the girl part anyway, not the name:) So lat night as i am sleeping alone for the 4th night in a row I woke up and remembered my dream. I was in the hospital and andrew and i had a baby girl and she was so BEAUTIFUL. Really beyond all belief... I am so undecided on what i even think it is anymore. Boy or girl, whatev! I am just dying to know already!!!!!