Don't be so quick to squawk

I have just realized this... well i can't say that i JUST realized this but there are certain random things that come to my mind... right now just happens to be one of them and luckily enough i am at my computer... Once upon a time I was a mean girl. I don't know why. I did not gain anything from it but i guess i sure did lose. I was out to dinner with a few friends the other night... they told me... "we vouched for you the other night" I said how is that??? They said there is a guy we hang out with who went to school with you and he just could not believe that you and Andrew had ended up married... For anyone who reads my blog you will probably agree with that. I was the converted LDS girl who was good for 4 years fell off the wagon to get back on to almost fall off again and in there i had my moments, dont we all. I can only say i WISH i would have done things different but i am not so sure that i would have. I mean sure i could have been that sweet little innocent grl who never fell victim to her upbringing but get real if thats what you were expecting. Think about this. I am for the most part normal. I never got into drugs when my parents were ALMOST columbian drug lords... haha I did not become a drunken alcolholic even though i was given the permission to drink ever since i turned 15... I did not get involved with TOO bad of people, and by the time i was 14 I had become a member of the most amazing church on earth. Hold on... I am getting somewhere with this. It;s not all bad... so back to my story... this guy said tha i was a pain the A in high school, and i WAS. I really was. I was only friendly and outgoing and make a fun life for myself the last two years of my high school of which the last year i had lost my best friend in the whole world to something that was a lie and i just bottled it all up inside and retaliated. For a moment i ruined my life. I thought about the words that guy had used to describe me in high school. No wonder why people were "worried: when they heard me and Andrew Crandell. I could only imagine in their eyes they are seeing a church full of innocent kids inside and i am the train roaring down the tracks a hundred miles an hour. That makes me sad. Sad to think that i was and still am the ONLY one to be able to make up for that. Not even make up for it but make it better from here on out. I so am the furthest thing from mean. I CAN be... like when i punch andrew in the kidneys, but other than that i mean to harm. I know since I dont keep in touch with many people that they would ever read my blog but to those who do and i was mean to you in my days of high school, I am sorry:( I was just a dumb kid who thought i was the most important thing in life. So just remember that next time when someone says I am a pain in the butt... I might be, but in high school i did not mean it:)))
Now on this OTHER thought of mine... I have CRAZY neighbors and they fight aLOT and just live a different lifestyle... bless them for that. But... I SERIOULSY have the most cool amazing super hot husband who truly truly cares and loves me... He is simply Ah-mazing. For that simple fact i am so thankful that he is the one by my side. Oh how i wish he were in primary with me on Sundays. I could use his skills, his patients and his understanding when a kid pulls a booger out of his nose and wants to share it.... There is just something about him being a priesthood holder that i just adore... I realized tonight that when i started crying watching the biggest loser that he sees me for ME. period. I am emotional a baby at times. He gets me things when i break my foot again... yes i did it AGAIN! and he does ot even call me the L word... Lazy... haha. I ditched church this sunday because of the broken foot on saturday and sunday morning i was wokent o him dressed and ready to go to church without me... that is a true leading example.
Here is my last thought for the night....
I can't even begin to tell you how much debt i see in my job. Everyday i see someone drowning in their debt or unable to manage money. Some are legit and some are just careless. I was able to get a 35 dollar fee removed today off a ladies account who is normally one of my regular customers. She is out of a job and hardly has any money at all. She did not ask for help, in fact she did not even know she got a fee yet. I just felt in my heart that giving her back that 3 dollars would make a world of difference for her. I called her up and let her know she got the fee because of a 15 dollar check that went through. I could hear the hurt in her voice when i told her and she said she would try to go do a side job to come in and pay it. I told her i took care of it as well as deposited 25 dollars in her account (it was not my money) . I was amazed at how her reaction was i can not even begin to describe. It just filled my heart. I did not DO anything really that makes me the hero... I thought i would try and help her and her boy out and in return she taught me a lesson that was just so indescribable i cant describe what i felt in words. When you think your life is hard- just think of someone elses. goodnight.

I just called to say... I'm sorry.

I just wanted to say sorry tonight. A heart felt sorry to all the Steelers fans who were so set that the steelers would not lose to a team like the packers.... Yay for cheese heads! :)

more good news

It seeme like this year is just full of good times so far! I am happy to say that I with the anticipation of this new wells fargo job that i have... went into it hoping that within 6 months i could have the opportunity to become a banker... I was told no that i had to wait 12 months... I have given this teller position everything that i have and it is HARD! Yesterday i was told by my manager that he thinks that i am ready to become a banker but that it is not a 100% guarantee... ughhhhhh. I have to INTERVIEW. I am bad with interviews i think.. I am so critical of myself! but... I am SOOOO excited... so here is kinda the scoop... I wont blab of what i make now because it is ok... but right now my bonus checks cap out every quarter just like the bankers... but if i make banker it could potentially be 10 times MORE! WHAT! yes.. 6 dollars more an hour and wayyyy bigger bonus checks. This would be amazing... Since i lost my oh so good paying job at verizon it has been a little tight so this would be such a blessing! I am so grateful that we both have jobs however and we have been able to pay all our bills and still have some fun, but i got used to making a good pay every year with VZW and it would be nice to start building the savings back up....SOOOOOO i interview with the big boss on Wednesday... I have to give a little something something on a non wes fargo product.... I have no idea what i am going to do!!!!! but... wish me luck!

I can't beleive the way i feel

I can't even put into words how i feel today. It's pretty amazing though. This year me and Andrew decided not to slack on anything or take anything for grantid... example.. Church and all the fine blessings that come with it. These are our thoughts wel just a few... church is mostly habit and i i dont mean that in a bad thing. once you get out of the habit of going you find it easier to find xcuses to not go or to work on sunday or to just find other ways to justify breaking the sabbath... once you get behind on your tithing its too hard to catch back up.... okay i will stop there because i am ruining my mood... Andrew and I just wanted to give 100% again. We saw the spots where we became laxed, working on the sabbath because we "had" to and watching a rated r movie just because it looks REALLY good. We would never just drink a beer because it smells really good would we? Of course not so why cut corners else where... I had this happen to me at work last year. wells fargo sent out reimbursement checks to people who had their mortgage there because taxes went down... I had 2 testifying moments and the people had no idea i was a member of the church... one guy got a check for 900 ISH- i asked him if the check came to his surprise and he said yes! He said you have no idea how thankful i am for it because my wife almost divorced me! He said that earlier that week he had felt the need to donate 900 dolalrs to a charity and when he told his wife she was really upset... who has 900 to just "donate" in these times? i felt so bad for him... but then he said I am just so thankful for this blessing, I know it is all because i pay my tithing to the lord. It killed me because i knew i had not paid my tithing fully in 2010. second scenario a woman came in and had a check from the same situation... she said that if this check did not come she had no idea how she was going to pay her 1600 dollar mortgage... she has 6 kids and her husband is out of work:( again it showed the blessings we get when we pay our tithing! last thing that also happened was a woman came in to make a deposit.. I asked her what account because she was showing2 on the system, she said i only have one... i told her she had 1 active and one in pending close state but she knew nothing of it... her husband was supposed to close it back in july but he left the money in there... she banked 800 dllars that day and she cried to me! she was so thankful and i t just lit my heart up. I cannot express hwo thankful i am for what i have and being able to pay tithing. I have paid this year, yes i know we are only 20 days in but today andrew and i were blessed TWICE! just from paying our tithing and it makes me feel amazing. It is sad that members like me choose to not hold tight to that rod. We are all human so we make mistakes. I am so thankful for our ward out here and how accepting and loving they have been and are! We truly were supposed to make our home out here in maricopa! I feel like i am becoming a woman! as cliche as that sounds i have always been "waiting" for that time when i would start looking at myself as an adult and i think that being apart of a steady ward with a calling and Andrew and I starting on our path to being parents (no not yet) is making me look at myself in a new light. My husband truly amazed me today too. This guy he works with is going down a bad path and he said somethin to the affect to andrew about if andrew had a lot of money there is no way andrew woudl turn down cheating on me with a hot bankging blonde and that all marriages are based on money and there is no TRUE love.... Andrew told him his feelings and in a way testified to this guy of what he believes and if you know ANdrew you know at all costs he would pretty much avoid a debate ESPECIALLY to that magnitude... but he didn't. i dont know where that ramble was going but i know that since our church attendance and involvement has been steady and consistent the blessings and our feelings have changed so much. I am truly grateful for this. For the sacrifices that were made so i cn repent for these dumb little mistakes i make every day! It is so amazing to have the restored chirch on the earth today to guide my family!