Job Hunting

This is LITERALLY what i feel like I think I have applied for like 50 jobs. It seems like I don't know what I am doing sometimes. I have a good resume and a good cover letter and I have a TON of experience in the work field. I an hoping and praying that i can find a good job that I LOVE! I have got a few calls... wish me luck!

i messed it up

i thouroughly thought this one out too.. im funny! okay... so these pictures are from my sister in law's musical i went to... go down and read the blog first then look at the pictures: ~ oops.

I love antiqued photography!

She looked so good in every outfit that she came out in!

I could sing her really well even from my seat!

this was the stage... i was preparing for a huge theater with a big stage... i would have been terrified to do it on this stage so close to everyone. Jenny has some guts!

Me and Allison

This place is way yummy

Mandy Pandy and Grace Face
... she does hae a really skinny face. I hate that mine is so ROUND

A whole lot of catching up to do.

I can't beelive that like 10 occasions have gone by and i have not blogged yet... well they are coming. this is thee day to BLOG! Okay the First thing i did was went to my first musical!!! Jenny was in a musical at the Hale theater called "She loves me". I had NO idea Jenny was so talented and such a good singer! I was able to drag two of my good friends along with me! We ate some dinner before we got there at the yummy yummy yummy Joe's BArbecue... if you have not eaten there yet you really really NEED to. It's the best ever. It was so funny, when we got there we decided to not go in... If you have been there on a weekend night you know what i mean... It's packed. Anyway there was this weird guy sitting outside who asked if i could buy him something to eat because he was stranded... I told him i would get him a pulled pork sandwich and he asked for RIBS instead... sorry homeless man, beggers cant be choosers... well since im so nice i bought him exactly what he wanted! Am i crazy or what! um.... yes... so my bill that was like 6 dollars turned into 20! then some lady in line got her food turned around and handed me 5 dollars to put towards this guys dinner! Good things came from that i beleive. Anyway i didnt see the man afte that... So on to the rest of the night... I got into troule inside the theater... I guess you are not allowed to take pictures... but i was and i didnt read the fine print... Here is what i got...

life is a highway...that will never be finished being built

Sometimes i wonder why things happen and specifically why do they happen to me...for instace. July 6th, there was a man leaving a bar and he had way too much alcohol in his system...but because it would have been too much of a hassle for him to call a cab or his wife or maybe even a friend he decided i will just drive my self home... the common reason they THINK they are okay. He pulled out onto Greenway road feeling pretty good...
July 6th... A woman just got done dropping her husband off to pick up his truck from his brother's house. She had not put on her seatbelt just yet because she was in a hurry to get home and was so excited to think about the home offer they were going to be putting in as soon as they got home. The woman gets up to the light that is red and gets into her turning lane with her blinker on. The spirit whispered to her to not get too close to the stopped car in front of her;She listened. As she looked up into her rear view mirror seeing if her husband was behind her she sees a truck coming so fast at her she didn't even know what happened! The rest is history. Not much the woman can remember from all the chaos but she was alive and thnkful for that.
If i could only tell you what the drunk man was thinking. He kept saying sorry over and over again but it does not fix the pain the woman went through for so long, her never having a day where her back does not hurt, the annoyance in her life it caused, and her job. After all she did work for one of the largest companies in the world and with that comes a strict attendance policy. The woman missed work and a day was not covered but what does verizon wireless care? they have THOUSANDS of employees and they dont have time to consider one woman's job when they have 87 MILLION customers to take care of? So she get's let go? yes

So I am the woman. Mandy Crandell... who went thoguh HELL with this accident and the lawyer and the chiropractor and not sleeping and not being able to have a SINGLE day where my back does not bother me now, and i LOSE my job??? all because this one man would not take the time to be respsponsible to call someone to come pick him up from the bar where he was served way too much alcohol.
I just can't beleive it. I have/had so much anger, hatrid, EVERY OTHER FEELING you can think of towards this man and there is no way i can go back to the way my life was before. The lease i can say is it SUCKS! We JUST bought a house and were almost thinking about having a baby, but all that is taken away now because of one person's actions. I hope he realizes someday, although he probably wont, because alcoholocs don't care for anything or anyone but themselves and their alcohol, what his one stupid decision caused aLOT of people. It does not only affect me, it affects all my family, my friends and most of all my husband! I hope the courts have NO mercy on this man who was so uncaring and insensitive in his decision to drink and drive. I can honeslty say i will try everything in my power before i make any more decisions in my life to know if they will hurt anyone else? how will it effect me or anyone else this decision makes in anyone elses life. From all the things i have been personally dealing with this was the last thing i had ever imagined to happen. I cried on the way home from Heber yesterday until Andrew found the faucet to turn it off...he said " Is it just barely sinking in now?" I guess it does. I woke up this morning from a dream last night that i was at work, but i realized it was for sure real. Finding a job that pays as much as i got paid in this economy? forget about it. There is no way... I need to have faith and ask heavenly father, i do and will. I just am discouraged and i want to blame it all on one stupid guy who made a stupid decision that i feel has ruined my life at the moment... is that okay?

oops...

UGHHHH i went through this hassle of changing my font and now its messed up and now its pink! and its only the headers and now i am so sad because im probably going to have to start a new blog if i ever want to get rid of this crap! yuck.

Missing Andrew

It's so late right now and im trying to stay up for andrew to come home. During football season... although i love football.. i dont get to see andrew very much because of his company being contracted with ASU and the Cardinals. Last night Sara, her mom and her friend jenn stayed the night since it was late after the party. I knew Andrew would be home late but i asked him to wake me... he didn't because he knew i was tired but it makes me sad because he even took a shower and i heard NONE of it. I swear a stranger could come in my house and steal everything i own and i would have no clue until i woke up the next morning... sometimes i sleep so soundly... well anyway... the other night i had my friend michele and her kids over for dinner. I made pork tenderloin which is one of andrew's favorites... it was like midnight and her had barely eaten all day and he was telling me how he was dreaming of eating the dinner i made... well i told himt o wake me when he got home and i would warm him up some... he didn't, when i woke up he was not home and i was so worried he didn't even make it home. I was thinking of what a terrible wife i was that i slept right through some type of accident or something had happened. I text him..."i'm so worried... why did you not come home last night!" he replies and said i did, but i had to leave for work again at 4:30... he got home at 2! ugh... it's so sad. so now i feel like i have to stay up to make sure he eats otherwise he goes to bed:( I just miss him. Sometimes i remember when we were dating and how we would always have something planned and now we just work and watch movies and occasionally do something special. It sucks how life takes over! i can't imagine how it will be with kids. I'm sure the kids will be wonderful and my day will be full, but sometimes i just wich he has an 8-5 monday through firday job so i could actualloy see him not just in passing. This whole week i work early and he is going to heber, then im going to heber when he gets home! If there was just some magical way i could convince president Obama to give me some money so we didnt have to ever work again. hmmm. maybe i wilil write him a letter... oh here is my own advice..." you are just started in your marriage, it has just begun, stop complaining about never seeing your husband because you prob see him more than most couples with kids that are working full time. You know what i say to you? okay, fine. These are just random thoughts of mandy while she is waiting for her hubby to come home and join her presence. I sleep lots better when he is here. p.s. dont read this blog if you dont like to read long nonsense blogs.:) goodnight

just a bunch of crap

Today has been the WORST day in my head... I have all these unfinished thoughts and feelings and i dont know what to do with all of them. Andrew has been working CRAZY hours lately and that stresses me out because i always worry about him falling asleep at the wheel... its shift bid time at work and the shifts are HORRID! it seems like i will never get away from nights! I HATE nights, but im grateful to have a job. I almost wish we still lived with grandma:) Andrew's truck would not start the other day after mine came down with a serious case of the swine flu! I think its just the smell of COWS in maricopa that's having this affect on me. I love our house and it is finally all starting to come together then it seems like one thing happens and i get discouraged again. So anyway... I'm doing the RAGNAR! and im really scared. I don't like how things are right now so im ready for a change but im scared that i will let people down! but too bad, im doing it anyway:)))) Jenny is helping me alot. she rocks. Okay i have to go for now, but the bachelorette party was fun, even though most of the people flaked out!!!! yes i said it. She had a friend who drive from VEGAS!!! and some of her friends from down here in the valley did'nt even show up, but i found out that you find out who your true special and real friends are around the time of your wedding... this is true. Anyway... we had a lot of fun and i'm so excited for those two to get married in 5 days! hooray!!!

Bachelorette Party!!!!

I spent ALL day Thursday and Friday painting my house and finishing putting up some decorations...!!! Now all ready for the bachelorette party!!!

painting

Ugh... could painting be the WORST thing in the world??? I finished painting my staircase and the HUGE wall in our home yesterday... sad news is that it STILL needs a second or third coat.. i lost track at this time. THEN i got this bright idea to do the kitchen RED! my old kitchen was RED like fire engine red so this time i wanted to do more of a rustic red, so i did... I don't know how i like the color just yet...

Remembering Azure

Today is the day im sure many know of azure's passing 2 years ago. I remember it so clear. I was in Utah with Andrew, It was a Saturday and i was expecting Mike and Brandi's family over to my apartment for dinner. Andrew and I had just decided before i left for my 11 hour journey home that we weould go to wyoming to get some fireworks so i could bring them home for him. I got a text message frommy sis that said im not sure what the plans are for tomorrow because Azure was in an accident and i heard its pretty bad...but i will let you know when i find out more. So at that moment it was confirmed that there was an accident and i truly thought that it was nothing, just a fender bender blown out of porportion. Me and Andrew still went to wyoming. As i sat in the car and told Andrew about it i was worried with a knot in my stomach because i was a whole state away, even if something did happen i had my car with me so it was not like i could just jump on a plane and be with my family. Azure was my favorite sister in law and i wanted to be there with them, come what may. The ride from coalville Utah to wyoming was about an hour and it was all rocky canyons so not good reception. I sat and waited for a call but nothing. Goit a few texts that made me grow more sick to my stomach. We got to the fireworks store..well a few of them... and then i got a call as we were checking out...It was Brandi. when i answered i could already hear mike in the background telling brandi not to tell me. I got the news. Azure is in a helicopter and they are trying to revive her.... I felt like i could not breathe. I could only imagine what my family was going through there watching it all unravel in front of their eyes. I had found out that eric was with her and it made me more sick. I fell to the floor (litterally) and could not stop crying. We left the store, the woman who checked andrew out gave him a lot of free fireworks...maybe she thought it would help me feel better?? We started back home...no call but there was a voicemail. Brian said in a very soft tone... mandy... hey its Brian. Just wanted to let you know that Eric is good... He is doing fine...... LONG pause... but Azure... didnt make it. I gotta go.

I really didnt know what had just happened. I had to drive home for 11 hours sobbing??? There was no way. I wanted to be there with my family but i was so far away. When we got back to utah andrew told him boss what happened and he let him come home with me and drive me home. It was a good thing he did other wise i would not have made it home probably. The events that took place after that were indescribable. It has been 2 years today and it seems that i can still hear her laugh and see her big bright smile. I remember her being so happy that me and andrew were dating and she was so excited to see if we would end up getting married. It 's sad knowing that she was not here to go to the temple with us in person. I know she is in a better place and is doing the lord's will but i still can help but to think of how much she is missed in our family gatherings. She can and will never be replaced and i'm thankful that my brother was able to be sealed to her and bring little eric in this life. I know that families are forever and i will one day see Azure again. My heart goes out to my brother and her family on this day of rememberance for the life that azure lived.

Some people are just for the birds.

I want to share what is on my mind right now. I was BETRAYED by a friend to a degree that it is ridiculous ssome could do that to a so called "friend" even an acquaintance! So... before i made any drastic changes i came home and talked to my husband and i cried about it...of course this would make you cry too... Andrew held me and said " I told you." haha typical andrew. So now here i am thinking... why do i need friends... what are friends for. You generally like to hang out with the same type of people you are and have things in common and they make you laugh and you can get together and have some fun times with. Well thats how i thought she was... only to find out everything she said to me was a lie and she said the same thing to some one else only this time it was about me. I feel like an idiot... almost like a laughing stock or however you say it. I mean i HELPED this person and gave so much to her... I just cant BELEIVE it is eating away at me like this. So i started to make a few phone calls and i was going to let everyone know who she REALLY is... then my phone shut off... and i knew... I would be no better than her if i did it. All i guess i should do is turn the other cheek. I mean grantid she did say that im not really a mormon just because im a convert and the fact that i have had a surgical procedure done!!! really?? So i guess i have to be "mormon" and just do what i know in my heart to do...forgive and forget. although...how can i do that? How can i let someone so pathetic get the best of me and she thinks that i am so STUPID that i would never find out or know what she did and what she said about me... Well i know this.....
I was a TRUE friend.
I never talked bad about her.
I was always there when she needed ANYTHING... even money when i didnt have so much.
I gave her what i knew how to give that heavenly father gave me. Love. He loved us so much that he gave his life and in return we get agency and sometimes there are people in the world who choose to exercise their agency to the fullest and belittle someone and crush their feelings...
but i chose not to.
Instead i thought i will go blog about it for all the world to see just in hopes that MAYBE one day she will somehow come to know that friendship and partner ship is more than GOSSIP.
Andrew told me today... "that is just a perfect example of how gossip hurts."
From this moment i will NEVER gossip about anyone even if it's the truth.! I could never beleive how this affected me to make me think so much but Andrew does have a good way of throwing things into perspective for me.
I should close now. Not that I have much to give but i am a good friend. I'm a friend who cares! and some of them see that. I have a best friend..my husband... and i also have heavenly father which is an awesome friend who helps me all the time and he never says anything bad about me. I just am getting all soft and just a minute ago i was furious. ugh... birth control makes me so emotional sometimes! So i will ramble until i am done.
so here is the punch line...
DON'T GOSSIP. I have done so good with not gossiping so much since me and Andrew got married. I have never had it affect me this way but it hurts to lose a friend that you held so dear to your heart. Anyway. Im done. I'm thankful to the church and what it had taught me and how i can apply it in situations like these. Thinking back on the situation... I'm glad i thought about all of it before i let my feelings get in the way. I will take the nice and easy way out. Peace.

the spirit whispers this to me...

On the way home frmo Utah, a yard full of antlers caught my eye (what you see in the picture below). I turned around to take a look and to take some pictures to show andrew. I had a feeling that I should knock on the door and ask if i could take some pictures before just inviting myself onto some perfect strangers property. I knew pretty early on in the conversation while i had the prompt to knock on the door. Her name is Elaine Norton and she is a member of the church and has the sweetest most warm spirit that i have ever met from a complete stranger. Although me and Alice were in a bit of a hurry to get home with lots of road trip in front of us, Elaine proceeded to tell us her story as she does to many people who still stop to see her property. She had no idea we were members as well and her home housed a giving spirit about it upon every wall. She was so apologetic about taking up our time and you can tell she loved company and i was okay with sitting there for a few more hours listening to her stories. The account of her family story was amazing. she told of her now late husband and how he was ill. Along their journey they lost a son named Med to a lighting accident very close to their home. One day her husband picked up a very small white shed antler and he never stopped after then. She said he did it just for something to do. He apparently had a very hard time getting over the passing of his son. The story was so heartfelt and with Elaine now, being in a power chair still has not lost her spirit. She lost her son and her husband but it seemed to me this woman could not ever lose her testimony of the church and Heavenly father. She writes poetry and has written one for every member of her family and has even won contests. I am so blessed that i did stop that day and knock on her door. I'm sure all who have crossed her path have looked back and realized they did for one reason or another. She is such a brave woman and i only knew her for 30 minutes. I included her poems she gave me a copy of below, you may have to save them to your pc and then zoom in to read them. They are wonderful.

My spirit fed soul

what's for dinner

Well me and Andrew made a deal. I can have a baby if i cook something different for the next 365 days... different means something that i have NEVER cooked before. Steap price to pay just for having a kid eh? Well come the second night when i mentioned baby he said no you still have some birth control left! What a deal breaker he is! Well i guess we will still have a baby when we are both ready, but in the mean time... Tuesday dinner was grilled chicken with broccoli and garlic sauce. Thats not that different but it was something i had never made before so it won. Andrew ate 3! plates of it... he NEVER eats that much... Wednesday night was chicken florentine with spinach and roasted red peppers. It was so very yummy. Today... wednesday is...well nothing a sandwich maybe. Andrew is out working in some different town tonight so its just me and Louie. When i had the drunken accident i needed to get a rental car and while having the rental car i went 58 through a cameraed light posted speed was 45 so.... i got a ticket! I heard if you ignore it it will go away... WRONG! I had 7 days from TODAY to go to defensive driving school or i would have my driving "priveleges" revoked... so i looked online and found a class for $205 bucks! geez. That's $15.80 per one mile an hour over the speed! anyway, i finished it 4.5 hours later! and then had to go to ups store to take an exam where the old woman was acting as if she was my mom. I wanted to tell her " look lady, you only work at the ups store on the day i happened to come in. The outcome of my test will not affect you so leave me alone!" but her peircing blue eyes stared straight to my soul so i just took my test and went home. oh wait... that was the second trip... the first trip i forgot my drivers license so i had to go back home... Anyway... my day has turned into a computer screen headache and now i think i will just clean. Yesterday i went with Andrew to the eye doctor. He is going into law enforcement so we need to get his eyes corrected. Im so glad there is good vision in my family. We are going with the best eye place there is but its 2 GRAND per eye!!!!! Is that really neccessary??? I was good enough to talk them down 8 hundred dollars though! WOW! I think president obama should give me some type of government not have to pay back fund to get that done since Andrew will be working for them:) Do you think if i put it on U tube i will get it? haha... not a chance... i know. Well here is just some random thoughts of the day. I dont have any cool stories of labor day or babies or anything to tell like all my other bloggie friends.