life is a highway...that will never be finished being built

Sometimes i wonder why things happen and specifically why do they happen to me...for instace. July 6th, there was a man leaving a bar and he had way too much alcohol in his system...but because it would have been too much of a hassle for him to call a cab or his wife or maybe even a friend he decided i will just drive my self home... the common reason they THINK they are okay. He pulled out onto Greenway road feeling pretty good...
July 6th... A woman just got done dropping her husband off to pick up his truck from his brother's house. She had not put on her seatbelt just yet because she was in a hurry to get home and was so excited to think about the home offer they were going to be putting in as soon as they got home. The woman gets up to the light that is red and gets into her turning lane with her blinker on. The spirit whispered to her to not get too close to the stopped car in front of her;She listened. As she looked up into her rear view mirror seeing if her husband was behind her she sees a truck coming so fast at her she didn't even know what happened! The rest is history. Not much the woman can remember from all the chaos but she was alive and thnkful for that.
If i could only tell you what the drunk man was thinking. He kept saying sorry over and over again but it does not fix the pain the woman went through for so long, her never having a day where her back does not hurt, the annoyance in her life it caused, and her job. After all she did work for one of the largest companies in the world and with that comes a strict attendance policy. The woman missed work and a day was not covered but what does verizon wireless care? they have THOUSANDS of employees and they dont have time to consider one woman's job when they have 87 MILLION customers to take care of? So she get's let go? yes

So I am the woman. Mandy Crandell... who went thoguh HELL with this accident and the lawyer and the chiropractor and not sleeping and not being able to have a SINGLE day where my back does not bother me now, and i LOSE my job??? all because this one man would not take the time to be respsponsible to call someone to come pick him up from the bar where he was served way too much alcohol.
I just can't beleive it. I have/had so much anger, hatrid, EVERY OTHER FEELING you can think of towards this man and there is no way i can go back to the way my life was before. The lease i can say is it SUCKS! We JUST bought a house and were almost thinking about having a baby, but all that is taken away now because of one person's actions. I hope he realizes someday, although he probably wont, because alcoholocs don't care for anything or anyone but themselves and their alcohol, what his one stupid decision caused aLOT of people. It does not only affect me, it affects all my family, my friends and most of all my husband! I hope the courts have NO mercy on this man who was so uncaring and insensitive in his decision to drink and drive. I can honeslty say i will try everything in my power before i make any more decisions in my life to know if they will hurt anyone else? how will it effect me or anyone else this decision makes in anyone elses life. From all the things i have been personally dealing with this was the last thing i had ever imagined to happen. I cried on the way home from Heber yesterday until Andrew found the faucet to turn it off...he said " Is it just barely sinking in now?" I guess it does. I woke up this morning from a dream last night that i was at work, but i realized it was for sure real. Finding a job that pays as much as i got paid in this economy? forget about it. There is no way... I need to have faith and ask heavenly father, i do and will. I just am discouraged and i want to blame it all on one stupid guy who made a stupid decision that i feel has ruined my life at the moment... is that okay?